With exam time coming up once again , you may be raring to go. But seriously, you may feel like someone just kicked you out of a plane without a parachute and that fast-approaching hard landing is what sitting in those exam rooms will probably feel like.
Let's go back to where it all started (cue the sounds of flutes, laughing children with birds chirping and flapping their wings) and look over the best homework excuses of this past year.
10 My dog ate it... then barfed it up... then ate it again. He's developed a taste for History.
9 I wasn't here when you gave the homework... ever!
8 My nanny misplaced it while cleaning.
7 The person you are asking about homework is no longer here. You are speaking to Nardar from the planet Eldon in the Gamma Quadrant.
6 This April 23? I thought you meant next April 23!
5 But if the Mayans were right and the world is going to end, what's the point of a chem report anyway?
4 My father said this class was a colossal waste of time and that the future was in apps.
3 I'm sorry, what was the question again? I was dropped as a baby.
2 My dog ate it, then a hawk swooped down and carried away my dog, so I shot an arrow at it, but only got it's wing and they fell into a toxic landfill site and melted. Oh! It's due next Friday! It's almost done.
And the number one excuse for not having your homework:
1. My mom was too tired to write it last night.
Let's face it. You only need these homework excuses if you don't really know how to do homework well. Some people just get it. They know how to study, how to set up their schedule, when to put on the juice and where to focus their attention. Without those "gifts," studying seems to be a task that gets worse with each transition, from grade school to middle school, from middle school to high school. Forget about it if you are clueless going into university. It all starts with your regular homework.
Here are some tips for preparing homework and doing well on exams.
1. Do the math! Figure out how many chapters/sections will be covered on your upcoming tests. Figure out how many days you can study between now and the tests, leaving at least one week for review. Divide the chapters by the amount of days (minus review) and make sure you hit those numbers!
2. Dress for success. You won't study well in a bathrobe or a Snuggie. Study in your school clothes even in you're in your own room.
3. Friends or competition? I suggest that anyone who is in your class can be made into a friend (or at least a colleague). Pick the ones that seem to do well in class and try a study session with them. A small group can also help. You may have to prove to them how you got to your answers (that's a good thing) and they may know things you didn't think of.
4. Take one day off a week. There is something to be said for a day off. This assumes you haven't waited to the last minute and are trying to cram an entire year's worth of classes into one week... again.
5. Know your style. Figure out how you learn best. Is it by reading? By hearing out the chapters read out loud? Is it by writing the notes? If it is by writing, figure out if hand writing is best or if typing works.
6. Sleep required. A good night's sleep really can make a difference in absorbing information and being able to recall it. Be aware of your sleep habits and know the best times for you to go to sleep and wake up.
7. Water is your friend! Drink lots of water. It really helps to be hydrated when studying and even more so before a test (but not so much that you have to run out of the test to get to the loo).
8. Don't panic! Picture yourself being calm and confident when you start your tests. So often our fears of the unknown stop us from finding out what we are really capable of.
It all starts with regular homework habits. Do it as it's given. But if all else fails, remember the top 10 homework excuses. (Just don't say you got them from me.)
Follow Ken Rabow on Twitter: www.twitter.com/kenrabow