People fart in yoga. It happens all the time. The statistics don't lie. In every single yoga class worldwide, at least one student drops a bomb.
If we all refuse to feel embarrassed from here on out though, then liberation will be ours.
You are not alone in your yoga class follies. As a class goer for eight years and a teacher for over three, I have heard, seen and smelled a lot. Let's explore, shall we?
1. Bottom flatulence
You're twisting, you're moving -- gas escapes. Even the ancient yogis knew about farting, aptly naming one folded asana, Pavanamuktasana, the wind relieving pose. It's best to empty the bowels before practicing and that's why having a daily practice at a set time is good. The body begins to adjust and a routine is created that's in line with your body's daily rhythms. Try also: eat well, digest well, fart less. Sometimes it can't be helped but this is a good start.
2. Female frontal wind
This happens all the time. Men -- get over it. Women -- get over it. It's not gross and it's not demoralizing, it simply is what it is. In many postures the vaginal canal opens and air gets in, especially for women who have had a baby or are older. Shoulder stand is a solid example of this. If the vaginal muscles aren't contracted then it's possible for the vagina to gulp in air. While rolling down and out of the pose, the air has to go somewhere usually resulting in a fanny fart. Engaging Mula Bandha while entering into and sustaining the pose might help you out of this situation.
3. Relentless sweating
If you're practicing yoga and you're pouring with sweat, it's not the end of the world. After time, your body will probably adjust and you'll sweat less. Bring a towel or two, use a wicked non-slippy mat, and just deal with it. Don't use lotions before class as you'll just be extra sweaty and slippery. If the teacher touches you, it's a safe bet they're doing it of their own free will. Don't be apologetic. They can see that you're sweaty and they don't care.
4. Falling out of a pose
This can feel like a complete failure -- like everyone is watching you and you've just tripped across the stage at graduation. Rest assured, everyone gets wobbly during asana practice. If you teeter or fall, don't even worry about it. Getting mad at yourself or embarrassed will not help you. Take a breath, let it go, and try again. You falling makes it okay for everyone else to fall too. You're a hero.
5. Falling out of your shorts
This may surprise you, but I have seen penises AND some of them have been at yoga. Short shorts, no underwear, and adventurous poses are sometimes to blame for this phenomenon. Usually though, the owner of the penis isn't embarrassed because they don't even know it's happened. It's up to you then teachers and fellow students to keep calm and yoga-on.
6. Ring ring ring on the celly
If your mobile is the culprit, it's best to just hop up, turn the phone off, and get back at it. Don't disrupt the class further by a) pretending it's not your phone or b) apologizing incessantly and making a scene. Shit happens. Learn from your mistakes.
7. A crying shame
I can't even count how many classes I have been to or taught where someone cried. Tears of joy and sadness are nothing to be ashamed of. Yoga is a practice of letting go and so if you become overwhelmed by emotions, simply let it happen. Instead of pushing the feelings away, take the time and space to experience whatever it is that presents itself. You are not alone. Yoga teaches us that much.
More from Huffington Post Canada:
WHERE IT HELPS: The balls roll out the multiple layers of back and abdominal muscles that seam together in a large connective tissue tract called the thoraco-lumbar fascia. HOW IT HELPS: This area can become stiff when any of the layers that intersect here are injured or in pain. HOW TO: 1) Place the Yoga Tune Up Therapy Balls side-by side in their tote (tennis balls in a sock can be substituted) across the low back spine. 2) Place feet on floor and elbows on floor and roll the balls up and down between the pelvis and the ribs for 1-2 minutes. 3) Breathe deeply into the abdomen throughout.
WHERE IT HELPS: Frees up trapezius, rhomboids, erectors and intercostal tension, mobilizes rib joints and spinal joints, posterior diaphragm rib connections and massages deep back musculature. HOW IT HELPS: Uncorks tension along the upper back and spine so that the spinal bones regain fluidity and mobility. HOW TO: 1) Place 2 grippy Yoga Tune Up Therapy Balls (or tennis balls) along the side of the spine in the upper back region. 2) Breathe slowly into the ribs and rock from side-to side and allow the balls to massage in towards the rib joints. 1-2 minutes on left side of spine, then switch sides, then move the balls into the lower thoracic spine & ribs and repeat.
WHERE IT HELPS: The IT Band is often unreasonably tight with any type of knee dysfunction. This thickened sheath of connective tissue on the side of the quadriceps directly threads into the hips, buttocks low back, knee and the lower leg bones. HOW IT HELPS: Stroking the balls both along and against the lateral thigh can make a huge difference in relieving pain and improving muscle function of the quads. HOW TO: 1) Place 2 Yoga Tune Up Therapy Balls (or tennis balls) in a tote against the side of the left thigh. 2) Roll the balls in aside-to side motion tracking them across the side of the thigh. Breathe deeply...it's going to create a lot of sensation! Approximately 90 seconds-2 minutes. 3) Then keep the balls in place and slowly straighten and bend the left knee. Breathe deeply...it's going to create EVEN MORE sensation! Approximately 60 seconds. 4) Switch sides!
WHERE IT HELPS: This pose targets the critical relationship between our breath and our posture while toning the innermost abdominal muscles. You will feel a tremendous stretch in the back of the abdominals along the long postural muscle, the iliopsoas. HOW IT HELPS: Hip flexors are lengthened as are the hamstrings, the lattisimus, and subscapularis. You may grow half an inch taller too! HOW TO: 1) Lay on a yoga mat with a block or phone book under your pelvis and engage the following actions: 2) Reach the arms overhead and externally rotate them so that the hands hold on to the sides of the yoga mat and attempt to pull the mat apart. 3) Stretch the right leg towards the ceiling (if hamstrings are tight, bend the knee), lower the left leg towards the ground without touching the floor, but do not allow the spine to lose it's stability or natural curves. 4) Breathe for one full minute on each side while remaining stable
WHERE IT HELPS: The shoulders are rarely taken through their entire range of motion. Unless you are a gymnast or climb trees, you may be weak in certain directions of motion. HOW IT HELPS: Shoulder flossing helps to mobilize the entire shoulder joint and rotator cuff while providing strength and stretch to all the shoulders tissues. FLOSS DAILY! HOW TO: 1) Grab a belt or strap in between your hands 2-3 feet apart. 2) Keep the right arm help high in the air, and steer the let arm back behind you until you feel a deep stretch in both shoulders. 3) Slowly alternate the shoulders so that both shoulders are thoroughly "flossed" approximately 90 seconds.
WHERE IT HELPS: The side body can be challenging to isolate...this pose targets it with precision. HOW IT HELPS: This exercise targets the internal and external oblique layers and the quadrates lumborum- a deep low back muscle. It also strengthens portions of the iliopsoas. (You will feel this one tomorrow!) HOW TO: 1) Place your right hip on a brick and right elbow on the ground. 2) Engage your side-waist muscles (obliques and quadrates lumborum) to raise your legs to hover 4-6 inches above the ground. 3) Make sure that your shoulders, pelvis and ankles line up with each other, and that the 2 legs remain glued together. 4) Sustain the position while breathing deeply for one full minute, then switch sides.