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Lev Raphael

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Oh, America!

Posted: 05/27/11 10:32 AM ET

A Kids in the Hall skit once offered this pithy observation: "Americans know as much about Canada as straight people do about gays."

It struck me as especially funny because I'm a gay American living just two hours from Canada. It also seemed devastatingly true. I once watched a Canadian friend flummox a roomful of Americans by asking us to name all of Canada's provinces. One person thought Toronto might be a province. Nobody could get all the Maritime provinces. It was embarrassing.

And this was in Michigan! A good, solid percentage of attendees at the Stratford Shakespeare Festival have come from all over Michigan for decades. Both our peninsulas border Canada, we get Canadian TV stations, Michigan is filled with hockey fans, and yet....

My Canadian friend went on to name all 50 American states, alphabetically. He threw in the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico for good measure, adding that of course they weren't states, but in his opinion, they should be.

I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised. Canada has been advertised for American tourists as "The World Next Door," but American ignorance of the world is legendary. My father's heavy accent in English immediately gives him away as foreign-born and all his life in the U.S., when he's told people he was from Czechoslovakia, they've asked, "Where is that?"

I'm happy to say that when it came to naming all the Canadian provinces, I got them right, though I wasn't certain about how to pronounce or spell Nunavut. But then, I was a geography maven as a kid, and even growing up in New York, I was curious about Canada and went there for the first time when I was 17. I was my high school's star French student and wanted to practice my French in Montréal.

I didn't get the chance to come back to Canada until I moved to Michigan in the early 1980s and started attending the Stratford Shakespeare Festival, eventually becoming a member. Some seasons my partner and I have gone up two or three times. But we've also branched out and have visited Toronto three times, and Montréal and Québec City twice each. We spent close to a week in Vancouver and added Victoria to a working vacation in Seattle.

We've stayed at a super B&B in the Niagara region several times and discovered some amazing wines there. We have also spent several romantic getaways at a country manor hotel and spa in Cambridge, Ontario. Canadian friends down the street have relocated to Calgary and we have an open invitation to stay with them. It's very tempting.

Even with its current government, Canada still seems like an outpost of sanity from the vantage point of a state that has banned gay marriage even though it's broke and everyone knows how much money marriages bring in to local economies. Too bad for Michigan.

Great for Stratford, where my partner and I got married on our 21st anniversary. Stratford has come to feel like a second home after 20 years and we couldn't think of a better place.

There's a Canadian flag on my desk that I got at the end of the wedding trip and it's more than a reminder of all the other wonderful days and weeks I've spent in Canada, and of my Canadian friends. It's a pointer towards freedom that I hope my own country will someday echo and embrace.

 
 
 

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08:59 AM on 05/28/2011
Americans, it seems, are no longer curious. That saddens me.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Lev Raphael
Author of "Writer's Block is Bunk"
09:29 AM on 05/28/2011
Why do you think that's so?
12:20 PM on 05/28/2011
I wish I knew. I suppose something has to light a spark before a fire can ignite, and I'm not seeing any matches...
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
elizlucinda
a mind is a terrible thing to waste
10:20 PM on 05/28/2011
Sadly, I think a lot of Americans have become arrogant with a large mean streak toward people who are different
06:54 PM on 05/27/2011
As my screen name might indicate,I've spent a great deal in Canada
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Lev Raphael
Author of "Writer's Block is Bunk"
10:09 PM on 05/27/2011
Working, or traveling?
10:40 PM on 05/27/2011
Most of my original post disappeared! I've travelled extensively in Canada
06:23 PM on 05/27/2011
This is hilarious, but very true. We learn very little about our northern neighbor in school and it seems there's very little news coverage of Canada, unless there's an election, a murder, or something controversial happens.
09:00 PM on 05/27/2011
And I think Canadian history only gets taught very incidentally in American schools: in the context of the French and Indian Wars or the War of 1812. It's bizarre, but I can't recall much more than that. Mexico looms larger in our history books because of the Alamo, etc.
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Lev Raphael
Author of "Writer's Block is Bunk"
10:08 PM on 05/27/2011
That matches my experience in school. It was a revelation to travel in Canada, go to museums, and start learning its history.
01:43 PM on 05/27/2011
As great as our ignorance about Canada might be, Americans tend to be more ignorant about Mexico, our neighbor to the south. I spend a great deal of time in Mexico. Most Americans don't even know that Mexico has states - at least they are aware of Canadian provinces, even if they can't name them. And I tire of explaining what Cinco de Mayo is - it is not Mexican independence day. Frankly, it's a bigger deal in cheesy Mexican-American restaurants (yes, that is a pun) than it is in Mexico.
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Lev Raphael
Author of "Writer's Block is Bunk"
02:55 PM on 05/27/2011
Mexico is south? :-)
10:40 AM on 05/27/2011
... interesting article. But the issue of a lack of geographical knowledge cuts in multiple ways. Growing up in Canada, when I mentioned that I was from Wales, I was often met with blank looks and questions about where that is.
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Lev Raphael
Author of "Writer's Block is Bunk"
02:55 PM on 05/27/2011
Ah yes, but you have to admit that Wales is farther from Canada than Canada is from the U.S., no?