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Marcia Sirota

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10 Bad Habits to Let Go of in 2012

Posted: 12/29/11 08:58 AM ET

Instead of making another batch of new year's resolutions that you're probably going to break before January comes to a close, consider the following 10 bad habits and which of these you might want to let go of in the coming year.

Jealousy is the first one. The way I look at it, jealousy can arise when someone has something that you want. Instead of being jealous, however, you could just decide to go after what you want. That's not to say you should steal someone's partner, job or money, but that you go out and work on getting your own.

Comparing yourself with other people is another bad habit worth letting go of in the new year. There's never a good reason to do this because there will always be those who have more than you, or those who have less. Instead of constantly comparing yourself with others, a better idea is to recognize that happiness comes from being the best version of yourself that you can be.

Another bad habit to break free of is avoidance. We tend to run away from things that are difficult or uncomfortable, but the problem is that sooner or later these things catch up with us. The longer you avoid things, the more time there is for them to get worse.

Whether it's a financial problem, an issue with your health or your relationship, the sooner you deal with it, the sooner it'll be resolved and the less you'll have to deal with the consequences of having left the problem to fester for so long.

Fourth on the list of habits to let go of in 2012 is Facebooking your ex. No matter how curious you are about what your ex is up to, there's never any good that can come out of scrolling through his/her Facebook page. You really don't want to know how happy and successful your ex is or who he/she is involved with today.

Even if you see that your ex isn't doing well, it won't make you feel any better and besides, it's not good for you to maintain a psychological connection to them. It's best to resist indulging your morbid curiosity and spare yourself the upset feelings. Let go of this bad habit and let go of the ex so that you can move on to better things.

The fifth habit to get rid of in 2012 is denial. Just like with avoidance, when we deny what's going on around us or what's happening to us, whether in our health, our relationships or our work, we give the problems a chance to get worse while we're denying their existence.

Facing the truth about yourself and your life will give you the opportunity to deal with things as they arise, so you can nip them in the bud instead of waiting for them to become an even bigger problem down the road.

Sixth on the list of habits to ditch in the new year is rudeness. Yes, life can be stressful and people can be unpleasant, but that's no excuse for you to be rude. If more of us were to let go of this nasty habit, more people would be polite and then good manners would become the norm.

Imagine how pleasant life would be if people were helpful, agreeable and accommodating. Imagine how much easier things would be if everyone behaved courteously. If you want this to be the way things are in 2012, recognize that politeness starts with you.

Number seven on the list of habits to leave by the wayside in the coming year is a bad attitude, as this can poison your entire existence. Being irritable, self-pitying or touchy can turn life into a battleground where you see yourself as the victim and everyone else as a potential competitor or adversary.

Instead, you can work on cultivating an attitude of equanimity and self-trust so that you aren't automatically imposing your own negativity onto every circumstance. You can believe in your own ability to take care of yourself, drop your angry, defensive victim stance and life will immediately become easier and more enjoyable.

The eighth bad habit to leave in the dust in 2012 is complaining. This will never make you happy or bring you success. All that complaining accomplishes is to remind you of your problems and to reinforce your sense of helplessness in the face of them.

Complaining is the opposite of dealing with things. If you sit and wallow in indignation and self-pity, nothing will improve; in fact, everything will get worse. Instead of spending 2012 complaining, you can make it the year to take action and successfully resolve your difficulties.

A terrible habit that really needs to be ditched in the new year is gossip. When you sit around talking about everyone else, it's not only hurtful but it's a colossal waste of your time. Instead, you could choose to be productive, improving your life and the lives of those around you.

Instead of gossiping about other people, you could be discussing interesting ideas, finding fulfillment through creativity, focusing on getting healthy, or simply relaxing and recharging. Any one of these activities is preferable to gossip, which fosters a narrow, mean-spirited and superficial existence.

The tenth and final habit to be free of in 2012 is co-dependency. Instead of being a needy child in your relationships, where each person is looking to the other for emotional healing and nurturing, you can be an empowered adult and take responsibility for your own happiness and success.

You can see your partner as a companion in your journey of life, rather than an instrument of emotional healing. This attitude shift will enable you to shift from being in frustrating, unsatisfying relationships to enjoying meaningful, fulfilling ones.

New year's resolutions are almost always a bust, but making a conscious choice to give up one or more self-defeating habits is not only possible but will pay excellent dividends throughout 2012 and in the years to come.

 
 
 

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aphidavis
"So much that Liberals know, just isn't so"
09:04 PM on 01/02/2012
What a terrific article. Even the respondants are terrific. Way to go Huffpo!
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mountainlora
The big picture
08:45 PM on 01/02/2012
I won't deny it; I love denial. If I wake up in the morning and think I'm old and stiff, I deny it. Next thing you know, I'm young and flexible! If I think I'm in a situation I can't handle, I deny it. Next thing you know I've handled it. If I'm feeling poor, I deny it, and remind myself of all that I'm grateful for. For someone who worries too much, denial is great medicine.

Yay Denial!
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rcinstitute
Psychiatrist and Author
08:53 AM on 01/03/2012
Mountainlora, I don't think you mean denial; I think you're talking about shifting your perspective & thinking positively :)
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mountainlora
The big picture
07:56 PM on 01/02/2012
Please move "rudeness" and "bad attitude" to the top of the list.
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opus1dog
I'm anti-stupidity
07:36 PM on 01/02/2012
I will avoid people who disrespect me for my opinions, political or otherwise.
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GOODDOC1
"civil war" is an oxymoron
07:09 PM on 01/02/2012
I would add forget about "All or None" thinking -- you know, if it's not absolutely perfect it's horrible. Things can be good even if they're not perfect. So can we.
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clintnapril2
A clear conscience is a sign of a fuzzy memory.
06:54 PM on 01/02/2012
My new years resolution was to not make any more resolutions.
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mountainlora
The big picture
07:58 PM on 01/02/2012
That was my resolution LAST year. I thought it would be really easy to keep. Then suddenly I started setting all these GOALS (not usual for me). Is that the same as a resolution?
09:17 PM on 01/02/2012
no
06:38 PM on 01/02/2012
I like this list. A few of the things it suggested, I'd already thought about (bad attitude, avoidance). But one thing I'm really trying not to do this year is get sucked into complaining.. mostly about my co-workers. I've been with my small company for less than a year and the co-workers I talk to and work with the most (and who have been there for 5+ years) complain SOOO much about other co-workers (not each other, but other people that work there) that I sometimes find myself joining in when I know I shouldn't. They spend entire lunch breaks talking about the others. And while sometimes it is entertaining (I know, I know.. lol) most times it's very tiresome and annoying. So, I'm really gonna try hard NOT to do this. I actually get a little PO'd at myself for doing this. SMH
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mountainlora
The big picture
08:00 PM on 01/02/2012
You will have to be careful about how you go about it, or you'll be the next target. That kind of poisonous atmosphere is very difficult. Sometimes avoidance (another item on the list!) is as good a coping skill as any!
08:23 AM on 01/03/2012
When they say something mean about someone, you say something nice. Gossipers hate that...lol They probably talk about you when you're not around, but who cares.
03:32 PM on 01/04/2012
Lol exactly! For the most part, I don't have a problem with the other co-workers. I figure, I'm new-er so I should be neutral. And I've tried the "say something nice".. but then their excuse is that I'm new so I haven't seen what they're REALLY like.. or they continue on and ignore my compliment. I try not to fuel the fire by asking questing or riling anyone up but.. I think I'm gonna try and master that AVOIDANCE habit (about this, not in my personal life) and see what happens.
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Bebe Darling
06:05 PM on 01/02/2012
This is definitely one of the more better articles I've read on here. Its content is refreshing and uplifting. I'd like more articles like this one.
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rcinstitute
Psychiatrist and Author
08:55 AM on 01/03/2012
Thanks for your support & encouragement!
01:44 PM on 01/17/2012
We can certainly use more articles on how to "improve" our lives... It's a refreshing change from the criticizing we usually have to go through.
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onehundredjobs
New media producer and actor.
02:44 AM on 01/02/2012
My face was in the stock photo thumbnail for this. LOL!
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rewith85man
Expressing Who I Am
12:53 AM on 01/02/2012
I would like to change my attitude, come out of my comfort zone, see the positive side of everyone and everything, and so on.

Life is short. Once it is gone, that is it. I would not be able to come back and enjoy.
05:34 PM on 01/02/2012
Well if you really want to change you will. I have been avoiding letting people get close or in my house. So for New Year Eve I went to my friends house And I actually stayed until the ball dropped instead of leaving around 10 pm So on New Years I opened my door and let 3 cousins I never meet into my house and later talked to one for 2 hours later that day.. And I did not want to meet them. It was very positive and I am so glad I am moving on. I got comfortable in that rut but not any more. Like you said we get one chance with this life and I am so tired to not living my life and healing everyone else. I am now on a journey to heal myself and enjoy the journwy and the peoople I meet. You just have to do it donn't try just do. I am so happy I am just doing instead of wanting to do. I am not judging you on any level I have so been there and it is a waste of time energy and life. Enjoy your journey. Sometimes when I do what I least feel like doing it turns out to be the most positive and enlighting time. I am meeting new and wonderful people. This is a great article. Thanks for sharing..
10:09 PM on 01/01/2012
I'm typically not a fan of the Huffington Post but a friend of mine posted this and made me curious- I'm glad I read this article and hope you will read it as well.
bouvdoggie
hopeful pessimist
09:34 PM on 01/01/2012
How about shedding all the people who don't make you comfortable or who challenge you?
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rewith85man
Expressing Who I Am
12:55 AM on 01/02/2012
You can overcome difficult people by being positive, doing right, and showing who you are as a person.
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hman570
09:12 PM on 01/01/2012
Not going to get rid of any vices here, as if you get rid of your vices what is left, taxes and no jobs.
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mountainlora
The big picture
08:02 PM on 01/02/2012
There's more than taxes and no jobs. How about creativity, goodwill, random acts of kindness, learning something new?
09:18 PM on 01/02/2012
you left out death
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Eric Graff
All LIBERAL ALL THE LIBERAL TIME
08:33 PM on 01/01/2012
If I got rid of all 10 I'd have no personality AT ALL......................
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undrgrndgirl
what's so funny 'bout peace, love & understanding?
05:41 PM on 01/02/2012
thanks for the laugh...fanned and faved.
06:41 PM on 01/02/2012
Lol I was thinking the same thing. My first reaction after reading this was "Well.. WTH am I supposed to do this year!?"
08:21 PM on 01/01/2012
Lol let's just erase all of the qualities of human nature. It's only built into our DNA but whatever. Some of these are choices but other are just in our genes...