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Why Are British Columbians So Dissatisfied With Their Sex Lives?

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The high cost of housing is not the only thing you will pay for in British Columbia. As it turns out living in B.C. may also cost you your sex life! British Columbians are the LEAST satisfied with their romantic and sex lives among all Canadians.

According to the Global News IPSOS Poll:

  • Canadians on the East Coast have the best romantic and sex lives (71% satisfaction), followed by the middle of the country (68%);
  • Alberta clocked in at 65% and trailing behind are the Ontarians (59%);
  • British Columbians are dead last (someone has to come last, p-u-n).

According to a Chatelaine magazine survey of 1000 Canadian women, 60 per cent remain in their romantic relationships for companionship and a mere two per cent stay for the sex!

Further, according to a National Globe and Mail online study where 70 per cent were male respondents, 75 per cent reported they were satisfied with their relationship but 51.2 per cent were dissatisfied with their sex lives.

This demonstrates a rather obvious disconnect between relationships and sex. One reason may be that women are poorly socialized about sex. Women are taught to view sex as a commodity, something to give away or withhold or to be used to advance in life. According the UNAIDS, "sex is the currency by which girls are to pay for life's opportunities." It is not acceptable for women to say they enjoy sex because it places them at risk for slut shaming by men and women.

Another very common reason for low sexual satisfaction in a relationship is desire discrepancy. Simply put, one partner wants it more than the other. Low sexual desire in women is a common reason and may occur in men too. Fatigue is a common reason for low sexual desire so don't take on too much that you are too tired to take on your man (or wife) at night. If you are not having sex with your husband (or wife) someone else will!

Why is low sexual desire so common?

Lack of sex may have its roots in the bio-psychological as sex begins in the brain, our largest sex organ. If anxiety, depression or addiction takes hold, then it may impact your sex life as will many of the medications used to treat these conditions. Other concerns include erectile dysfunction, which can occur at any age in men and vaginal atrophy, a common condition of menopause may decrease sexual desire as well.

Body image is a huge contributing factor to low sexual desire and satisfaction. Ironic in a province where running shoes trump business suits. Of course any history of sexual abuse or assault, bladder leaks, chronic pain and/or mobility issues may impact sexual satisfaction as well.

Social media plays a role too as ten per cent of people checking their smartphones during sex. With a simple click, we can seek attention from others or find someone better looking, wealthier or having a better time than who or what we have going on at home (remember pictures lie).

Our notorious "Fifty Shades of Grey" weather probably does not help our sexual satisfaction either because dreary weather lowers mood and may effect sleep for many.

Finally, the real reason for the plight of the sexually dissatisfied British Columbians may lie in the fact that we are hugging more trees than lovers. According to Amy Muise, a sex researcher at the University of Toronto who conducted this poll for Global News IPSOS Reid, increased cuddling time after sex has been demonstrated to improve sexual satisfaction.

So why are the Atlantic provinces living the friskier life? We may be more tapped out here in British Columbia given high cost of housing and living, the burden of excessive debt coupled with high housing costs may lead to stress and may mean less sex.

The colder weather and/or higher unemployment rates may keep Atlantic Canada igniting more romantic fires and that makes them more likely to get under the covers! They may be more grateful for the small things in life too.

Our notorious "Fifty Shades of Grey" weather probably does not help our sexual satisfaction either because dreary weather lowers mood and may effect sleep for many. Sleep disturbance is associated with decreased genital engorgement making sex less satisfying.

It is difficult to determine exactly why B.C. is less sexually satisfied but regardless of where you live in Canada. It is key that both individuals in a relationship make sex a priority. It is also important to be curious and open in communicating sexual needs and desires to one another. Finally touch yourself! After all, if you cannot touch yourself, who can you touch? Knowing how and when to please yourself and your partner is vital to sexual satisfaction.

So come on B.C., let's light some fires! Toys, new positions or locations to have sex, morning sex or living out a fantasy may improve our sex lives too. That said, there isn't a position, fantasy, or sex toy that will create the kind of sexual satisfaction you deserve that bringing your best self to the relationship will.

So British Columbians, the skies are clear; take care of yourself and your partner and be your best self in a relationship by dealing with any issues so that you can get back to the bedroom henceforth! Game on Canada!

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