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Melissa Carr


Why Is It So Hard To Meet Friends (And Lovers) In Vancouver?

Posted: 02/04/2013 1:41 pm

I have many friends who are in their 30s and happily single ... however, some are not so happy. What I hear over and over again is that Vancouver is a terribly hard place to meet and make friends.

I've listened to many, many complaints from out-of-town visitors and immigrants that although Lotus Land is far from lacking in things to do and see, it is next to impossible to find someone to do them with. People stay very isolated to their own little groups, making it difficult for newcomers to find a place to fit in.

So if it's that difficult to just find a group of friends, it would seem logical that Vancouver is also a really hard place to meet that SPECIAL someone.

The Vancouver Sun ran an article exploring this phenomenon. In it they interviewed three bright, successful women who have all found Vancouver a challenging place to meet and date men. One of the proposed reasons for our city's shortfalls in this category was that there is a "lack of sexuality" in Vancouver.

People here, it was insinuated, are cold and stand off-ish compared to other places (Florida was one example). Furthermore, the men interviewed for the article said they found the women in Vancouver intimidating:

"This is typical of a woman's online profile: here's a picture of me on top of a mountain, here's one of me winning an award, here's me in Vegas. It's like, wow, don't you ever sit on a patio and have a beer or hang out and cook a meal? I'm not even going to contact you because I'm too ordinary."

So, Vancouver women are supposed to dumb themselves down to make themselves more attractive to Vancouver men? Are we really too wrapped up in our accomplishments and not focused enough on appearing relatable?

What is it? It seems the men are not approaching the women because they are intimidated by them and the women are, as a result, finding the men in Vancouver to be stand off-ish and lacking in sexuality?

I'm not in the dating scene, so I would love to hear your thoughts. What is it about Vancouver that makes dating difficult? Is it the men? The women? A perfect storm of dating imperfection? What gives, people?

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    This gallery shows the <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/lonely-vancouver-best-places-alone_n_1920602.html">best places to be alone</a> near Vancouver, B.C. North Vancouver's Deep Cove is one of them.

  • Garry Point Park, Richmond

    At the western edge of Steveston Village in Richmond you'll find this park, a rolling landscape of meadows and bushes. Stand on one of its beaches and watch tankers roll in. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/lonely-vancouver-best-places-alone_n_1920602.html">Read: Lonely Vancouver</a>

  • Prospect Point, Stanley Park

    If you can find a moment alone here, it's worth it. Prospect Point looks out over Burrard Inlet and out to the North Shore. It's a popular spot for tourists so it's best to go outside peak times.

  • Burrard Bridge

    There's a little lookout at the apex of Burrard Bridge. Beneath you is Vanier Park, beyond that is the North Shore and the Sunshine Coast. Breathtaking views make for deep thinking.

  • Lighthouse Park, West Vancouver

    Rare is the southward view that's better than this one. Lighthouse Park offers solace and a beautiful view looking out to the Salish Sea.

  • Trout Lake

    One of East Van's best parks, this little jewel offers solace to anyone taking their dog for a walk or who needs to get away from the noise of the city. Check it out on Saturdays for the Farmer's Market.

  • Front Seat On The Canada Line

    There's a lone seat on the front of the Canada Line. Take it, and it's like staring into a void as you cruise underground and over the Fraser River into Richmond.

  • Main Street

    Formerly a row of antique shops, now a hipster's paradise, Main Street is a place where it's cliche to be with someone else. Don't worry if you're sitting alone in a cafe writing on your laptop. Everyone else is in the same boat as you are.

  • Rose Garden, UBC

    Just outside the Chan Centre for the Performing Arts you'll find the Rose Garden, a lovely locale for intellectuals to let their minds run free. Take away the stress by having a nice look out to Burrard Inlet.

  • Tower Beach, UBC

    Tower Beach was once a key strategic point for the Canadian Forces, with searchlight towers still lining the coast. Today, it's a great place to take a break from studying, put up a campfire and bask in the glow of the night sky.

  • Grouse Mountain

    The solemnity you feel at the top of Grouse Mountain is more than worth the Grind it takes to get up there. Finish the hike, then stop and listen: you won't hear a thing.

  • Arctic Expedition, Vancouver Aquarium

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  • Queen Elizabeth Park

    Take a nice, long walk to the summit of Queen Elizabeth Park. There you'll find gorgeous gardens, a geodesic dome and gorgeous views of the city below.

  • Nat Bailey Stadium

    Try to find a seat alone for a Vancouver Canadians home game and witness one of the prettiest little ballparks in the country. Baseball is a game with a lot of stops and starts, giving you plenty of time for reflection.

  • Bowen Island Ferry

    The island itself is great, the ride there is better. There's hardly a better ride than standing on the deck of the Bowen Island Ferry as it traverses Howe Sound.


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