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Mike Gallay

Writer & Filmmaker

Mike Gallay is a writer, filmmaker and artist in Toronto. Earlier in life, he was a child.

Follow Mike's tweets at twitter.com/memachine.

Trying to Be a Hero Doesn't Make You One

My puppy, Yoshmenge, in the car. Despite recommendations to the contrary, I sometimes skip breakfast, as I did today. It is mid-morning and I am hungry. I am stuck at home while an upholstery cleaner...
10/07/2014 05:44 EDT
Shutterstock

First Rule of Running For Mayor of Toronto

You can still vote for me on October 27, but striking your ballot will have the same result. Instead of putting up my dukes, I'm admitting the humbling failure that was this brief foray, and settling into a future more suited to someone of my limited skills and boundless grumbling.
09/24/2014 03:59 EDT
Naeem Jaffer via Getty Images

Why I've Decided to Run For Mayor of Toronto

My mottled and confusing clump of skills, best set in service of those around me and my community, are crying out for me to contend. My capacity for leadership, diplomacy and frankness have the potential for good effect in my city, which I hold so dear. Then that is it, dear reader. It is settled. I will run for Mayor of Toronto.
04/21/2014 12:55 EDT

A Letter To Big Silly

Having spent 20 minutes verifying if yawns are contagious between people and pets, my Bernese Mountain Dog, Big Silly, is frustrated with me. I sense her implying she's too old for this nonsense. She...
03/24/2014 04:10 EDT
Bernard Weil via Getty Images

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Rob Ford

Rob Ford, should you be legally allowed to run for mayor again, though I may not have the courage of many of my neighbours to cast a vote in your direction, I most certainly will watch delightedly as you sweat your way through a seemingly endless string of awkward hallway press scrums and barely-veiled bigotry. You have taught me to accept what I do not understand.
11/28/2013 12:09 EST
Joe Murphy via Getty Images

Dear Toronto Raptors, Help Me, Help You

Even the sacrosanct Toronto Maple Leafs have had three names in their history, migrating from the Toronto Arenas (1917-1919) to the Toronto St. Patricks (1919-1927) to today's Toronto Maple Leafs who honour the region's love of grammar. Change is possible and welcome and please do this because I cannot take it anymore.
11/15/2013 05:21 EST
AMC

Breaking Bad's Place in TV History

I am going to go out on a limb to predict this Sunday's final episode of AMC's Breaking Bad will be the best in breed: the best final episode ever. The show lives at a fever pitch which is 98% insanely compelling.
09/28/2013 12:05 EDT

Computer Graphics Are To Film What Synthesizers Were To '80s Music

CG lulls us. Characters are too shallow? Put them in 3D! Conclusion is unsatisfying? How about 53 artists work on exploding a planet at the end of the movie? What do you mean the leads have no chemistry when they kiss? Reconstruct their lips. CG is the Pepto Bismol at the end, middle and beginning of a Hollywood meal. My theory? Computer Graphics are to movies as the synthesizer is to music.
08/15/2013 05:28 EDT
Getty

Even Atheists Get the Blues, er, Blue Sweaters

This blue cashmere sweater was going to be mine because both it and I look and feel fantastic and I would like this feeling to last. I think I lost a pound in my midsection since I pulled this sweater over my head. This sweater is a fine purchase, maybe even something that can help the world. This sweater is a job creator.
12/29/2011 01:05 EST
AP

Letter to a Toronto Blue Jays Fan: Resurrect the Original Logo

The only awkward aspect of the Roberto Alomar ceremony was watching the Jays of lore in the original uniforms with the familiar lettering and logo... and then to look at the team currently on the field in its metallic and unfamiliar New Coke uniforms. I seethed. You seethed. Bring back the old logo.
08/04/2011 02:46 EDT
CP

O Canada: Anthem Overload

When someone raises a flag on Canada Day, sure, terrific. Bob and Doug forever. When it's time to honour our brave war veterans, no doubt, they're the champs. But when I attend a game to cheer on the local collection of rink-circlers, I don't feel it's a relevant or appropriate place for the anthem.
07/01/2011 06:06 EDT
AP

The Day I Won The NBA Finals

My best moment since the last best moment: Deleting an upcoming Tuesday, 9 p.m. entry in my calendar, which had read: "Dallas versus Miami Game 7, if necessary." It only took me six games to win these...
06/14/2011 11:47 EDT