Mike Gallay
Mike Gallay is a writer, filmmaker and artist in Toronto. Earlier in life, he was a child.

Follow Mike's tweets at twitter.com/memachine.

Entries by Mike Gallay

Trying to Be a Hero Doesn't Make You One

(0) Comments | Posted October 7, 2014 | 5:44 PM

My puppy, Yoshmenge, in the car.

Despite recommendations to the contrary, I sometimes skip breakfast, as I did today. It is mid-morning and I am hungry. I am stuck at home while an upholstery cleaner attempts admirably, if unsuccessfully, to clean a long-smearing...

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First Rule of Running For Mayor of Toronto

(0) Comments | Posted September 24, 2014 | 3:59 PM

Always talk about running for mayor of Toronto.

Back in April, I marched down to City Hall to file my nomination papers. I would run for Mayor of Toronto.

Well, jog, anyway.

I made my candidacy known on April 21, with an announcement in this here Huffington Post. Within days,...

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Why I've Decided to Run For Mayor of Toronto

(1) Comments | Posted April 21, 2014 | 12:55 PM

In the spring of 1992 (note: Spring used to be an annual event), I was elected Fundraiser of York Mills Collegiate Institute in Toronto. Mine was an overwhelming victory. Five elected spots were available on our high school student council and Fundraiser was the only position being contested by more...

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A Letter To Big Silly

(1) Comments | Posted March 24, 2014 | 4:10 PM

Having spent 20 minutes verifying if yawns are contagious between people and pets, my Bernese Mountain Dog, Big Silly, is frustrated with me. I sense her implying she's too old for this nonsense. She turned five in December, several months after being told she would not live to...

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How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Rob Ford

(5) Comments | Posted November 28, 2013 | 4:24 PM

Shame is what I feel. Shame tinged with remorse and the sickly smell of my own comeuppance. I am kneeling before you, great citizens of Toronto. I am broken, defeated, and overwhelmingly entertained. I was wrong and 383,501 of you were right: I should have voted for Rob Ford. I...

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Dear Toronto Raptors, Help Me, Help You

(7) Comments | Posted November 15, 2013 | 4:21 PM

In many ways, as Toronto booms in population and global Q-rating, it is a city in search of an identity. The Big Smoke. T-Dot. Megacity. Toronto is understood through a shifting lens of traffic jams, livability rankings, a crack-smoking Chris Farley impersonator, decades of passion and loss via the Maple...

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Breaking Bad's Place in TV History

(9) Comments | Posted September 27, 2013 | 9:47 PM

I have an exceptionally low tolerance for subpar television drama.

This is not a cross-genre condition. I will lazily eyeball a hackneyed episode of The King Of Queens or motor through a Storage Wars marathon, both instances leaving me to question my life's trajectory. But drama is one area where...

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Computer Graphics Are To Film What Synthesizers Were To '80s Music

(6) Comments | Posted August 15, 2013 | 5:28 PM

Warning, dear reader: Curmudgeon Alert Ahead

Vancouver-based Neill Blomkamp, the formerly precocious 3D animator-cum-director of the memorable District 9, recently moved up a notch in the filmmaking world, given a $115 million budget (more than three times his previous effort), a team of 247 credited digital effects artists,...

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Even Atheists Get the Blues, er, Blue Sweaters

(6) Comments | Posted December 29, 2011 | 12:05 PM

I do not buy $225 dollar sweaters.

Unfortunately, that is a statement I cannot make honestly. I don't know what happened. My wife and I had just finished dinner -- an inexpensive $18 vegetarian sushi dinner -- when we took stock of our evening. Dog had been walked, fed, wrestled,...

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Letter to a Toronto Blue Jays Fan: Resurrect the Original Logo

(19) Comments | Posted August 4, 2011 | 8:18 PM

Dear Fellow Fan,

As a teenager, even more misguided than I am today, I crafted a lengthy document entitled "The Hartford Proposal". It was an attempt to convey to then-management of the NHL's Hartford Whalers -- who were teetering on the edge of losing their team -- all the various...

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O Canada: Anthem Overload

(6) Comments | Posted July 1, 2011 | 6:06 PM

"Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel." - Samuel Johnson (April 7, 1775)

I had just settled into my seat, a deep purple lumpy thing that soon would have my sciatic nerve twitching. A tub of popcorn braced in my left hand, tilted slightly to the west, that my...

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The Day I Won The NBA Finals

(1) Comments | Posted June 14, 2011 | 11:47 AM

My best moment since the last best moment: Deleting an upcoming Tuesday, 9 p.m. entry in my calendar, which had read: "Dallas versus Miami Game 7, if necessary." It only took me six games to win these Finals.

You probably missed the part where Mark Cuban chose me to accept...

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