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Motherhood is often treated as something we can do on the side, while we keep charging ahead with our preconceived plans about what other parts of our lives will look like. The thing is, none of us actually know what we're getting into. We are out of our minds to think that caregiving and child rearing are invisible, background and secondary.
It's time to put an end to the "having it all" madness. For one, this meaningless term serves only to make the most successful women feel like failures. Rather than stay on track with this meandering debate, we owe it to ourselves, and future generations, to refocus our attentions on real issues: a stubborn wage gap, the under-representation of women in senior roles and covert discrimination in the workplace.
Why aren't more women proud to be the CEO of their homes? Why do so many career women think less of any woman who deliberately chooses her home life over her professional life?
Jim Power, school principal of the elite all-male Upper Canada College (UCC), recently wrote that boys need to know they can't have it all either. The fathers Power meets talk about the pressure they're under -- how they badly want to find time to watch their child "master a new acrobatic trick," that they often experience a "tug at their hearts that they keep to themselves." What about the other 99.99 per cent of parenting responsibilities?