Many of us are convinced that being "nice" is the way to win a friend or a partner and keep them; that if we please this person and give them what they need, they'll love us and stay with us, forever. Well, it doesn't really work that way. When we're "nice," the other person can't know who we really are.
If we can reinforce it in schools and at home, our kids may be lucky enough to grow up wanting to be no one other than their beautiful selves. We can help them by encouraging them to fail, and hugging and kissing them after they do. We can teach them curiosity about the world and show them that difference is the one thing that makes us all the same.
Let me fill you in on a secret: It's because you are too busy focusing on you, your company and your brand. You. You. More you. Forget about yourself for a second. Focus on the scintillating stars around you. They are gorgeous, captivating and brilliant! There is so much to discover. It is there waiting, just like you. All you have to do is open years eyes, click and share.
I write a lot about authenticity, and I promote it whenever possible. It's one of the things I value most, and I believe living authentically is an integral part of creating a life that is fulfilling and true to you. The other day someone asked me how I know when something or someone is authentic, and here are my thoughts on the matter.
Making mindless decisions with our money may create short term bliss or satisfaction but can have long term impacts on our financial well-being and financial security. When we make mindless decisions with our money, we don't take the time to really understand our thoughts, feelings and actions around our choices.
Our spending habits say a lot about us and the choices we make with our money. When we become real and authentic with ourselves, we don't use our money to impress people or seek status, because we have nothing to prove. When we are authentic with our money, we are making conscious and mindful choices with it. We are very present and self-aware.
Most of us don't take the time to take stock of our lives -- to sit back and reflect because we have a 1,001 things going on and we are distracted. Who really has the time to hit the pause button and reflect on their lives when career, kids, and household demands trump our waking moments, thoughts and activities?
Most of what I am about to tell you is contrary to what you might have been taught or have come to believe in. I have to share this with you because it's just too good not to and because it's something that we need to place more emphasis on. It began with that one word, the one that sometimes we're even afraid to say. Are you ready?
Impostor syndrome is the fear of being found out or discovered as stupid or unworthy. I don't consider myself to be someone with especially low self-esteem, but I have often felt like an impostor among very intelligent and accomplished people, and especially around individuals with elegant, show-stopping vocabularies.
The book includes the recommendation that professional women dress "smexy" (the author's word for smart and sexy). Most of the powerful women I know look professional, but don't invest a lot of time into looking fabulously sexy. They're too busy kicking ass and getting shit done. I'm willing to overlook our disagreement on this issue, however, because other parts of the book are good.
During a brief vacation away with my Greek immigrant parents in sunny Florida, I had the serenity to engage them in several wonderful lengthy chats about their past (always a favourite topic of mine) and to quietly observe them. These are the additional gems that I have gained from my parents' experiences.