We must find a way to understand the damage we do. We can't continue to throw around words that we don't find personally offensive and wash our hands of the harm they cause to someone else. If we do anything less than put an end to the use of anti-trans* slurs, then we are just bullies.
On top of being mean, they're smooth as hell; often the only evidence you'll have that you've even been hit by one of these barracudas is a strong feeling of bad about yourself. Here's a recipe for getting your bearings after a sneak attack.
Though intended to be empowering and to potentially make those who bully others "regret" their actions, VH1's foray into the anti-bullying world actually sends the opposite message.
Bullying is definitely a big factor in Mental Health. Bullies often have been bullied themselves and it causes them pain and contributes towards their need to bully others, which of course isn't right but unfortunately happens.
So it turns out the bully mentality is part of human nature, really, and so part of our culture. It is then up to those employees who want to better themselves to find a way to oppose that culture and mentality.
Let's teach confidence with our compassion. Bravery, resilience and pluck are good too. Let's show kids examples of their heroes who stood tall regardless of their circumstances. Let's point out people that took adversity and turned it into blessings.
Popular kids bully. Happy kids bully. Nice kids bully. Kids who are not abused, not hurting and not sad, bully, and we cannot stop bullying unless we recognize its complex nature and the role it plays for all youth.
Whereas years ago kids could at least retreat to their homes for escape, there is no escape for kids today. Relentless tormenting through multiple technology platforms makes it virtually impossible for kids who are victims to find a safe sanctuary or a few hours of peace away from the reach of their bullies.
Last week my 15-year-old daughter told me she hated me. Absolutely screamingly, door-slammingly, never-come-in-my-room-again hated. 'You don't understand,' she said. 'This is my life and you're ruining it!' I hadn't stopped her from going to a party or from going within 10 feet of boys (tempting though that is). All I'd done was banned her from having her mobile phone in her room.
If you are a victim of workplace bullying, you need to read the wisdom of Seth Godin, outlined: The way to work with a bully is to take the ball and go home. First time, every time. When there's no ball, there's no game. Bullies hate that. So they'll either behave so they can play with you or they'll go bully someone else.
Mean girls (and boys) graduate high school, go on to college, get jobs, get married and have kids of their own. If Regina George never learned to stop her bullying ways, isn't it fair to say that she and her fellow, now adult, Plastics are still engaging in similar hurtful behaviour as adults? So how do we get off this vicious cycle of child bullies growing up into adult tormentors? It's simple. The answer is, and always will be, love and compassion. Yes, we can teach old dogs new tricks. And alpha dog Regina George is no different.
Her eyes say it all: "You disgusting little piece of garbage -- who cares what you have to say, anyway?" He crumbles into a mess of tears and sobs, seemingly brokenhearted that he has just been publicly rejected. This was the fourth instance of bullying that I was privy to today. What stood out to me in each of the four incidents was who was doing the bullying: girls.