Popular kids bully. Happy kids bully. Nice kids bully. Kids who are not abused, not hurting and not sad, bully, and we cannot stop bullying unless we recognize its complex nature and the role it plays for all youth.
Whereas years ago kids could at least retreat to their homes for escape, there is no escape for kids today. Relentless tormenting through multiple technology platforms makes it virtually impossible for kids who are victims to find a safe sanctuary or a few hours of peace away from the reach of their bullies.
Last week my 15-year-old daughter told me she hated me. Absolutely screamingly, door-slammingly, never-come-in-my-room-again hated. 'You don't understand,' she said. 'This is my life and you're ruining it!' I hadn't stopped her from going to a party or from going within 10 feet of boys (tempting though that is). All I'd done was banned her from having her mobile phone in her room.
If you are a victim of workplace bullying, you need to read the wisdom of Seth Godin, outlined: The way to work with a bully is to take the ball and go home. First time, every time. When there's no ball, there's no game. Bullies hate that. So they'll either behave so they can play with you or they'll go bully someone else.
Mean girls (and boys) graduate high school, go on to college, get jobs, get married and have kids of their own. If Regina George never learned to stop her bullying ways, isn't it fair to say that she and her fellow, now adult, Plastics are still engaging in similar hurtful behaviour as adults? So how do we get off this vicious cycle of child bullies growing up into adult tormentors? It's simple. The answer is, and always will be, love and compassion. Yes, we can teach old dogs new tricks. And alpha dog Regina George is no different.
Her eyes say it all: "You disgusting little piece of garbage -- who cares what you have to say, anyway?" He crumbles into a mess of tears and sobs, seemingly brokenhearted that he has just been publicly rejected. This was the fourth instance of bullying that I was privy to today. What stood out to me in each of the four incidents was who was doing the bullying: girls.
In a new survey from Harris Interactive, 9% of adult respondents reported "My child or a child I am at least partly responsible for has been or is currently being bullied in school." Only 2% said "My child or a child I am at least partly responsible for has been accused of bullying in school."
So eager to right the wrongs of bullying, we find ourselves determined to identify and punish the perpetrators, often forgetting that that alone will not mitigate the harm done to the youth who felt bullied.
A few key names to consider: Richie Incognito, Chris Christie, Michael Dunn; the Baruch College fraternity boys. What do they have in common, this odd group of disparate males? Bullying. Unacceptably aggressive behavior. "Boys will be boys" mentality. Yes, it's a motley crew.
You know how a taco, burrito and enchilada all have the same ingredients, they're just laid out in different ways? Well... The Little Mermaid, The Little Mermaid 2 and Tangled all share the same basic ingredients for storylines about good versus evil -- just played out in different ways.
I don't know if your face fell. I don't know if inside you crumbled into tiny little pieces. I don't know how many times you've heard those words before. I don't know if you even believed them. But I got the feeling that this might not have been the first time. And in the instant it took to process what just had happened, a million memories flashed through my mind.
On Tuesday night, we witnessed yet another example of a grown up bullying someone. It happened on camera, with a microphone in his face, making this incident both shameful and stupid. Really, Congressman Grimm?
Understanding boundaries, resolving conflict and building relationships are tools everyone will need, whether they spend their days in the playroom or the boardroom
We were rivals in class, good students who read Vonnegut and announced, to our piano teachers' pleasure and our classmates' befuddlement, that we preferred classical music to Duran Duran. We should have been friends. For some reason, C chose to go in the other direction.
Left or right, liberal or conservative, retaliation thrives in our political arenas -- and no arena is more political than where any of us spend our day and earn our pay -- the politics of work.