As Alzheimer's disease progresses and the person becomes more and more disconnected from the world around them, caregivers so often, and so unintentionally, lose their way. That's okay, in part because there's no manual for this, no right or wrong. But there are ways that caregivers, like Ed's, can reconnect with their loved one.
If you are currently transitioning from a full-time career to a full-time career and caregiving, you know how challenging it can be. Finding the right balance can seem near impossible, which leads to overwhelming levels of stress and concern. Family is priority but what about your career? The number of unpaid caregivers in Canada continues to rise, as more and more family members require care. As a caregiver, you know that your duties are a full-time role in itself.
My children, like many lucky kids, have an amazing auntie. She's the kind of aunt who comes along on road trips, takes my kids for the weekend, buys thoughtful gifts, and organizes living-room dance parties whenever she's over. My children love their Auntie Katy, and my husband (her brother) and I need her.
Why is there a tendency for daughter-in-laws to have bumpy relationships with mother-in-laws? It's understandable that conflict can arise when two different ideologies collide. Ideologies about child-rearing, domestic chores, finances, "wifely" duties, working outside the home, personal appearance, "husband care" and so on.
This week my Facebook news feed has blown up with profile pictures featuring the red equals sign and posts about the SCOTUS hearing. The one that has the potential to grant (or continue to deny) same-sex couples rights that most heterosexual couples take completely for granted. Rights about what happens if their spouse dies. Rights about recognizing non-gestational parents as parents. It is absolutely horrifying to me to think that if The Bean were born in the U.S. rather than Canada that I would not be recognized as his parent. I am also holding my breath. For my friends. For my family. For rights that I usually take for granted, but know many are still struggling to achieve.
My mother missed her children's weddings. Missed the birth of her grandchild. In that grand balance up in the sky, measuring who gave and who took, my mother's ledger is a study of injustice. I doubt there has ever been an adult soul who took less, whose footprint was lighter. She never harmed or blasphemed or burdened; she was not perfect, but her faults were small and were her own, never imposing them on others. She deserved more. A lot more.
Since my mom died almost 10 years ago, I've struggled with Mother's Day. It doesn't help that I am also childless and single. Mother's Day is typically a mix of happy memories and sad introspection for me. I'm not the only one who finds Mother's Day complicated. When I recently polled my friends, I found a wellspring of Mother's Day heartache, and stories and tangents I had not considered.
In 2010, our five-year-old daughter, Lily, was diagnosed Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). Whenever Lily was released from the hospital, and the weather cooperated, we headed outside. We really started to depend on these adventures, these outdoor excursions, to get us through the bad days and help Lily along her road to recovery. According to the National Environmental Educational Foundation, exposure to nature can reduce stress levels by as much as 28 per cent in children. Health benefits of nature may include reduced anxiety and depression, increased energy and immunity, decreased stress and improved mental health.
My dog was carefully assessed, x-rayed, and operated on by the best veterinary surgeon, and then received excellent private follow-up care. All of this cost several thousands of dollars. I did not think twice about spending the money. But after reading a piece in the New York Times recently, John and I began to grapple with the ethics of directing so much money to an animal.
The problem for many parents is that they want to become friends with their children, rather than heroes. Our children do not need more friends, and they certainly do not need their parents competing with their friends for their attention. But as a hero, you can find a way to transform challenge into growth.
I don't want to read any more arguments about who has it harder, whose work is "real work," who is contributing more to society, or who is doing a better job ensuring her kids become stable, non-homicidal adults. I'm proposing a new form of Internet literature, where one group of moms singles out another group of moms for a job well done.
Utilizing Easter as a renewal time is relatively simple, and can assist you in creating the space you need to live your exceptional life. You can do this as an individual exercise that is personal and private, or you can take some this Easter weekend and gather the family to discuss each point. Here are the seven steps to renewing your life.