No matter how independent, self-reliant, and strong we are, sometimes there's a part of us that wants to self-destruct. Usually, after a traumatic experience, when we feel especially vulnerable, scared, and alone. And after the devastating breakup with my fiancé and boyfriend/best friend of nine years, I self-destructed in a big way.
In my experience as a psychologist working with couples, unless a relationship has truly run its course, most people who cheat end up regretting their choice and hurting more people than they could ever anticipate. Wouldn't it be helpful to conduct a simple self-assessment to gauge the strength of your connection?
Even if you've been chatting on various dating apps such as Tinder or Zoosk, meeting an actual human being in the flesh is completely different than online banter. The skills that make us good at online communication don't translate into the real world, and "relationships" online can have very little to do with real-life connections.
With last week's unwelcoming snowfall coming to an end, we're headed for warmer days and patio-ready weather. For the glass is half full type, it's time to prepare for the fun of spring and summer -- hooray! For the glass is half empty type... well, seasonal affective disorder (SAD) doesn't stop at the sight of spring.
When people ask what her "secret" is, she laughs, as she honestly cannot believe she is 100. That's a big part of what aging well looks like, too. Of all the lessons my mother leaves those who know her, is her love of living and desire to be here. To be active, to contribute and to live life to the max, regardless of your circumstances.
Whenever we meet someone, some deep part of our psyche perks up and says, "I don't know why, but this person that I just met is incredibly important and they could be the absolute key to my happiness and well-being for the rest of my life." The endorphins kick in, the toes start to tingle and pretty soon we've imagined the relationship, the marriage, the kids and the divorce before the second date.
I'm all for feeling and expressing love, but the idea that we need an official day to remind us to do so is a bit sad. Really, Valentine's Day -- regardless of the saint behind it -- is a commercial construct whose purpose is to wrestle money from our guilty wallets, as we try to make up for the other 364 days we feel we failed to express our feelings sufficiently.
As a busy mom, I don't value the standard gifts of Valentine's Day the way I did as a young bride and I think many women out there think the same way. We don't need the extra calories of heart-shaped chocolate or expensive, cut flowers that wilt and die in a few days or a store-bought card that lacks originality.
As an executive chef at four restaurants, V-Day allows me to get playful in the kitchen. A Valentine's dinner needs to be pretty -- a visual feast as well as culinary. It should quench one kind of hunger, and hopefully replace it with another. Consider food and drink part of foreplay. It's all part of the seduction.
Opt for a few aces up your sleeves this Valentine's Day. To add some context to this statement, I reference a timeless adage: "The way to someone's heart is through their stomach." There's no denying the truth in those words. Attaining culinary success in spades can guarantee you affection in return.