Children whose parents do not work together to co-parent amicably, maturely, and fairly, have children who feel overwhelmed, neglected, and stressed. It's time for the adults in the room to take the next step in acknowledging what they need to change in their lives to give their children all they've got.
What if, instead of "my ex", you use the first name of the child's mom or dad and/or you can say your child's name in conjunction with the relationship mom or dad that will help you focus on the parent-parent relationship. This creates an emotional detachment. It will relax the conversations you have with the co-parent (as opposed to the ex-spouse).