With our couple, Robyn feels insecure about their connectedness. She wants to feel close. So when he comes home late, she turns that into, "I'm not important. He doesn't care." She feels hurt or abandoned, and that's why she gets upset. On the other hand, Blair needs validation. His sense of identity and confidence are important.
This may be one of the greatest conundrums a couple can face. How to have a stable and secure relationship, and keep the passion alive? How to become a family (with or without children) and yet remain lovers? We have gathered research, clues, and client feedback for some practical ways to stay hot and heavy.
Relationships are messy, and sometimes love sucks. You won't always be 22 and carefree and riding on a train through Europe, wondering if you should doodle in your journal or take a nap. The movie Before Midnight understands that long-term love never comes easy, and romance isn't always about long walks in a Viennese park.
And so it seems the quality of our sex lives hangs in the balance of these ordinary life moments that have little to nothing to do with sex. And just as easily, they can be reconciled and turned around in a matter of seconds. Remember: In these moments it's really up to you and your partner which way you want your relationship to go.
Last Christmas, my best friend's spouse bought her a pair of furry, leopard panties -- size XXL. He's never lived it down. But even that unfortunate purchase is eclipsed by a gift one of my clients received from her mate: a pair of nose-hair clippers, sent, with love, from "The Nose Hair Fairy." For many couples, gift-giving is a minefield of potential conflict.
You'd have thought Maclean's would have blazoned the death of Section 13 all over its front cover. With a massive headline along the lines of "SCREW YOU, CENSORS!!!" Or "WE WON!!!" Instead, the cover featured a generic picture of an innocuous youngish woman and an innocuous youngish man grinning maniacally and the silly headline: "The majority of us are singles. So why do we still live in a couples world?"