If you look around the Internet you'll find that most advice for the 30-something crowd centres around how to find your future mate. Why nobody is talking about how enjoyable and acceptable it is to be happy, in lieu of a partner, is beyond me. I must have missed the memo when being 30 and single was declared an alternative lifestyle.
Have the talk before you hook-up (or once you've peed right after) and set the lay of land. You both know what this is. Games are meant to be played with rope and whipped cream, not with each other's emotions. If you're feeling compromised about a situation have the courtesy to put it out there and mutual respect to problem-solve together.
Yes, that's right: I wish sometimes that I was needier. In recent months, I've come to a very blunt awareness about just how independent I had become in my four years as a single person. Moreover, I can reflect today and acknowledge just how much society places value on that independence. Is our system flawed.
For six long weeks you've wished and prayed for a sign or just a word from this guy. And on a sunny Sunday afternoon, your cell phone rings, and as you reach down to retrieve your cell from your designer bag, you see it. A text message from him that simply reads: "Hello." You sit there quietly, pondering what you should do.
In the early 2000s I started to read about the Dalai Lama. It was a revelation to view the world through the eyes of compassion. Venturing to the grocery store, driving in traffic, all became a practice of kindness. Then after I became comfortable with the concepts of Buddhism. I embarked on yoga. This extended my mindfulness. Now I continue to bring these concepts together and combine them with visualization.
It can be really easy to live with a secret. Three and a half years ago I was living in Toronto's East end, long time boyfriend and cat at home. It wasn't long before I met someone who did more than wolf-whistle out a car window. One night a few of us went out dancing. Mid-twist he kissed me and all my senses were on fire. But innocent walks turned into conversations tinged with sexual innuendo. Alleyway makeout sessions, then sex -- anywhere we could. I found myself turning into this seemingly new person. People who have never cheated ask how you can do it mentally, emotionally. It's different for everyone. But what they don't understand is that it gets to the point where recklessness overpowers all logic and all sense of "right."
It's no secret that I love How I Met Your Mother -- in fact, rarely a day has gone by over the past nine years when I haven't quoted or referred to the show in conversation. There's just so much about life, love and friendship that HIMYM just gets. So, before we say goodbye, here are a few of my favourite lessons about life and love from Ted, Robin, Lily, Marshall, Barney and the gang.
Many times we come into a relationship expecting others to create our happiness, and many times we end up being disappointed. Why? Because it's not someone else's job to make us happy. Happiness begins within. If you want and desire love, you have to begin by first emitting love, and that journey begins within.
Expressing my recent distaste for being single, my friend shared her secret to healing the wounds of a long-term relationship that ended. After months of feeling down, she decided to pick herself up and embark on what she branded, "The year of fun." The formula breaks down into a simple equation: open-minded attitude + thirst for adventure = year of fun.
If you haven't been hit over the head with onslaught of bad chocolate and tacky lingerie, count yourself lucky. Then, come on out from the rock that you've been living under, and concede that Valentine's Day is here. But your honey might not give a hoot about how commercial or stupid you think February 14 is -- they might still be hoping you do something, anything, to mark the occasion.
Ever wondered why your otherwise brilliant friends always seem to partner up with less-than-ideal mates? A new University of Toronto study could help explain why. One surprising finding was that those who feared being single seemed to recognize that they were making poor decisions about who to date.