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We've all had to deal with difficult people at work. We often work with people we don't like and sometimes we work with people who don't like us.
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I'm willing to bet that the person involved in the email confrontation was not aware that she was being unfair, humiliating, potentially malicious or vindictive. I'm willing to bet that these people thought they were handing the situation clearly and in a businesslike manner. That was not the case.
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If I am going to have a conversation about washing bodies and clothing, my goal is that my employee (or co-worker) will agree to wash their clothing and body on a more regular basis. Perhaps you want them to take home any clothing they have stored at work, for a washing. Maybe you want them to stop wearing cologne. Perhaps you want them to shower after using the gym at lunch.
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There may come a time in your relationship with your difficult person when you realize it is never going to work out. You are never going to reach a middle ground. You are never going to change their behaviour. Is it OK to give up? Absolutely!
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Rather than focusing on your anger, focus on hearing what the other person is saying. Don't listen to what they are saying -- hearing and listening are two totally different things. Hear past the person's words, and try to understand what they are trying to tell you.
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I'm dealing with an avoider. I find it very frustrating. Every once in a while you will encounter a situation where you want to deal with it in a calm, professional manner, and the person with whom yo...
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Susan was a fellow office manager. She was given a budget to decorate for Christmas. As she transformed our offices with green and tinsel, she also loudly voiced what a waste of time and money it was. She even complained about the lunch-time Christmas party on Christmas Eve when we could leave early. Oh, for crying out loud!
Anger or anxiety disables our thinking brain. We need to re-calibrate what we are thinking in order to reclaim our emotional balance. That being said, when someone is putting pressure on us or elevating our blood pressure, stepping back and approaching things differently can help improve the outcome.
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Oh no. You can hear them coming down the hall and are wishing you could hide under your desk. Being on a team project with them can feel like there's no escaping them. You know who I'm talking about: the nay-sayers and folks who seem to go around thinking there's a contest to be won for complaining or seeing the worst out of every situation.
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Dealing with enemies is never easy. Remember that they do have an agenda; they are trying to get ahead, at your expense. Deal with them professionally and consistently, and very quickly they will learn not to mess with you.
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I'm currently taking a refresher course on dealing with aggressiveness in someone we want to have a relationship with. When someone tells me that they are chronically being treated aggressively, it is...
You may be the one who is always making the new pot of coffee, unjamming the photocopier, replacing supplies, helping out in emergencies, always available (even when on vacation) and generally giving 100 per cent back to your organization and team. But there is always one princess who doesn't do any of that, doesn't feel even remotely guilty but seems to get the same rewards as you.
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Lisa called me to get some advice about a colleague named Wendy whom she called a drama queen. (Both names are pseudonyms.) She started pointing out several exchanges and I asked her to just describe...
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Who is the most difficult person you work with? Does it feel to you like they spend each evening plotting and planning on how to ruin the next day for you? Does it drain your energy just thinking about this person? You're not alone.
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Wouldn't it be great if when people were wrong, they could just 'fess up, apologize and take different actions to move forward? Just imagine the increased opportunities of positive and productive workplaces. Call me a dreamer! Unfortunately, egos get in the way and fear stops us from acting on our healthier options.
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How do you deal with emotional pain? The kind of pain that sits in your heart and occasionally (sometimes without warning) breaks your heart just a little bit, and you feel an overwhelming urge to cry. Many of us can relate to that.
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Do you know people who shoot themselves in the foot with this "truth vigilantism"? Are there people you work with who don't have a good filter and say things that are unnecessary, self destructive or harmful to the team? How do you give them corrective feedback to stop listening to their anxious judge?
Here's the deal: we can't make everybody happy. Sometimes conversations we need to have will make other people unhappy. Sometimes we will not be able to make them feel heard in the time allotted.
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Having worked in mental health, I've seen the other kinds of scars. Unfortunately, I've also been victim to them myself. Years ago, I worked at a children's charity. The executive director (ED) verbally abused staff. The first time I heard her scream, I thought she was injured and ran into her office. I was shocked when I realized screaming was her way of asking for a file.
We've all been there: Mortified and shocked by the latest horrible thing someone we thought we knew posted on social media. For too long now, I have been a deer in the headlights when it comes to these sorts of situations. But I've hit a wall. It is time to cut some people loose. I am beginning to understand that I AM allowed to give up on people. I AM permitted to shake the dust off my feet: un-friend, un-follow and disengage.
The most influential element for good teamwork is trust. When trust goes up, fear goes down; and vice versa. When people work and play nice together, it means that there is high trust in the group.