Canada Divorce

Dysfunctional Divorce Leads to Dysfunctional Children

Andrew Feldstein | Posted 10.09.2014 | Canada Living
Andrew Feldstein

What divorcing spouses and partners don't realize is there are very real consequences of dysfunctional divorce that affect mental, emotional, and developmental well-being and behaviour of children. The effects of divorce trauma become more pronounced the longer a divorce drags on. And two or five years in the life of a child is a huge percentage of time.

What Most People Don't Know About 'Deadbeat Parents' and Child Support

Andrew Feldstein | Posted 10.02.2014 | Canada Living
Andrew Feldstein

A CBC investigation yesterday uncovered that 'deadbeat parents' in Canada collectively owe more than $3.7B in support. As a divorce lawyer for 20 years, it struck me that there is a lack of knowledge of how court-ordered support payments work. Here are three things to think about and two actions that you can take which should help Canadians understand spousal and child support a bit better, help you understand why the divorce support payments situation is such a mess, and help explain why it is not even worse.

A Letter To The Man I Married 18 Years Ago

Lori Gard | Posted 09.18.2014 | Canada
Lori Gard

Love, Tonight, we sit out on the veranda, you and I, while candles flicker quietly at our feet. Three citronella in pots reduce to liquid. I say I ...

Would You Consider a Relationship Contract Over a Marriage?

Marina Adshade | Posted 09.05.2014 | Canada Living
Marina Adshade

Divorce rates are soaring, or so the story goes at least. One proposition is to take the long-term commitment out of marriage and, instead, have marriages that automatically expire after a fixed term of three or four years.

B.C. Teachers' Strike Is Like Watching Parents Divorce

Alyson Jones | Posted 08.25.2014 | Canada British Columbia
Alyson Jones

As a therapist, I specialize in assisting families through separation and divorce, and this entire impasse has reminded me of the dynamics that exist between high conflict parents when they are separating. In the case of a high conflict divorce, the collateral damage is always the children.

Instead of Making a Spreadsheet About Sex, Try Writing a Love Note

Debra Macleod | Posted 09.24.2014 | Canada Living
Debra Macleod

I stumbled upon a story about a husband who, apparently upset with the lack of sex in his marriage, made a spreadsheet that documented how often his wife had sex with him. I've had many clients over the years show me similar lists. Lists like this are made -- and shared on social media -- out of an emotional mixture of frustration, resentment, self- righteousness, a lack of self-restraint and a profound level of immaturity.

For Divorced Adults, Shared Housing Is a Good Option

Eva Sachs and Marion Korn | Posted 09.16.2014 | Canada Living
Eva Sachs and Marion Korn

In these times where the divorce rate among 50-65-year-olds is increasing, some are looking at unconventional alternatives. One option is to create what are being called "liveable communities." These are shared homes where adults who choose to live together get the benefits of companionship, economies of scale and affordability.

Why So Many Couples Get a No-Nup

Eva Sachs and Marion Korn | Posted 09.14.2014 | Canada Living
Eva Sachs and Marion Korn

These couples feel pressures their parents didn't. They live a less certain world when it comes to employment. They are more likely to go from contract to contract than to have a lifetime career with a single employer. Many are paying off large student loans. They face a housing market where the ratio between prices and income is dramatically different than it was for the previous generation.

American Media Is Way Too Uptight When it Comes to Sex

Delaine Moore | Posted 07.28.2014 | Canada Living
Delaine Moore

I'm truly astonished by how uptight the American media are around sex. Call me naïve or ill-informed if you want, but I really thought Americans were more open than Canadians. Yet my book and movie journey have surprisingly revealed quite the opposite.

I Pushed Away the Love of My Life and He Won't Come Back

The Purple Fig | Posted 07.20.2014 | Canada Living
The Purple Fig

I threw away the only man who ever loved me, who I was in love with. I realize that this statement must elicit a bunch of questions. Ten years later, I still can't process, make sense of, or come to peace with this loss. I am alone and lonely, so much that it is slowly but surely eating me alive, day in and day out, from the inside out.

I Could Never Have Imagined 32-Year-Old Me Adopting Two Adolescent Girls

World Vision | Posted 07.15.2014 | Canada Living
World Vision

Very shortly after finding out I was approved to adopt, my adoption worker came to my home to tell me about two amazing adolescent sisters: Charity and Emily. I sat at my kitchen table for the rest of the night, staring straight ahead like a deer in the headlights, thinking about everything the worker had asked me to consider.

This Mother's Day, Think of the Kids

Diane Weber Bederman | Posted 07.08.2014 | Canada Living
Diane Weber Bederman

Mother's day is around the corner. For too many children whose families are restructuring all they want for the day to be happy is their father. They want their dream back. They want to be able to love both parents equally without guilt. We owe it to our children to put their rights, their best interests first.

How I Survived 21 Years of Marriage and Still Want More

Mara Shapiro | Posted 07.06.2014 | Canada Living
Mara Shapiro

Ever wonder how they do it? I mean the older couples you see in the park, at the store, holding hands in the mall? What makes it last? How do they get there, how do they survive each other? Soon, my marriage turns 21.

Would You Own Up To Having An Affair?

Sue Nador | Posted 06.06.2014 | Canada Living
Sue Nador

By withholding the truth about her affair from her husband, Tabitha holds all the cards when it comes to their marriage. She is able to preserve what matters most to her-her family life, financial security and the love of her husband-but on her own terms. Her husband is continuing to commit to the relationship under false pretences.

16 Rules For a Happy Marriage

masalamommas | Posted 05.31.2014 | Canada Living
masalamommas

You might say this is a classic case of the blind leading the blind. What I offer you here are pearls of wisdom after 15 years of marriage and seven years of being a divorced single parent. Had I known then what I know now, perhaps my happily ever after would have happened the first time around.

The Best Way to Survive a Divorce

Terri Fedonczak | Posted 05.18.2014 | Canada Living
Terri Fedonczak

Today, I counsel clients who are going through a divorce to practice acceptance. Acceptance does not come easily, especially when you are in a painful situation; it seems easier to blame the other person and bury our head in the sand. But this will not help. You can systemize acceptance in a few simple steps; I'm not saying they're easy, but they are simple.

Why Dress For the Life You Want? Because it Works

Sarah Vermunt | Posted 04.21.2014 | Canada Style
Sarah Vermunt

If you've ever watched an episode of What Not to Wear, you can recall fashion expert Stacey London telling women to "dress for the job you want, not the job you have." I'm not sure who first coined that phrase, but it's a good one.

Would You Stay With A Cheating Spouse?

Erica Diamond | Posted 04.06.2014 | Canada Living
Erica Diamond

It's why I thank my mother and father for raising me with good self esteem and it's why we should raise our daughters with good self esteem. So she can stand on her own two feet without a man -- if ever need-be. So if ever she finds herself in a marriage where her hubby is parking his penis in another woman's garage, she has options.

"To Have and to Hold" -- That's What's Important

Noemi LoPinto | Posted 04.02.2014 | Canada Living
Noemi LoPinto

I was married two years ago. No one asked me to have or to hold my groom as per the traditional Anglican wedding vows at our wedding. I am half-Jewish and an atheist but growing up in Canada "to have and to hold" were the only marriage vows I heard. I think the author was talking about protecting a safe space no matter how heavy the abyss.

5 Signs Your Divorce Will be High Conflict (And How to Survive)

Susan Valentine | Posted 03.31.2014 | Canada Living
Susan Valentine

Divorce is ranked above going to jail or losing a family member as the second most stressful life event you can face. In fact, the death of a spouse or child are the only events considered more stressful. And yet, this doesn't even take into account what divorce is like for those who are separating from someone with a high-conflict personality.

Why I'm Thankful For My Parents' Divorce

Sue Nador | Posted 03.27.2014 | Canada Living
Sue Nador

My parents could not have known it at the time but they did me a huge favour both through the dysfunction of their marriage and their subsequent divorce. Having a ring-side seat to the drama of their union allowed me to dissect and analyze their every move and motive. I learned a lot, and came to my own conclusions.

I Couldn't Stay in a Loveless Marriage

The Purple Fig | Posted 03.24.2014 | Canada Living
The Purple Fig

After living with someone who never let go of the opportunity to insult or debase me, honestly I had started finding it hard to laugh or grin for that matter. My so called "better half" questioned my existence throughout my marriage and so along the way I started questioning myself. After the separation, as the days turned to nights, I felt a change in myself.

10 Ways To Find Love Again After Divorce

The Huffington Post Canada | Arti Patel | Posted 01.25.2014 | Canada Living

Whether you're a recent divorced single or have been looking for love again for several years, marriage the second time around can sometimes be more c...

When's the Right Time to "Put Down" Your Relationship?

Sue Nador | Posted 03.15.2014 | Canada Living
Sue Nador

Fourteen months. Fourteen months is the time I have in my head for how long I would try to save my marriage if things started to go south (hopefully it will never come to that). But once we limp past the one year mark, I think I would rationally assess whether something has shifted so irrevocably in our relationship that it was time to take it off life support.

Have We Finally Figured Out How To Divorce Like Adults?

The Huffington Post Canada | Posted 01.23.2014 | Canada Living

January may be the month of quitting habits and setting goals, but for legal offices across the country, it also means seeing more and more couples as...