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The main problem I faced was a distorted belief system. I felt that love came with accomplishments and accolades. I didn't believe that I was good enough to love as is. When love is missing, a lot of negative stuff comes out of the woodwork: anger, resentment, fear, jealousy.
With our couple, Robyn feels insecure about their connectedness. She wants to feel close. So when he comes home late, she turns that into, "I'm not important. He doesn't care." She feels hurt or abandoned, and that's why she gets upset. On the other hand, Blair needs validation. His sense of identity and confidence are important.