That's the thing about exes; it's impossible to keep them in the past. Whether their lingering trail is on your Facebook wall or on your couch, they still appear hauntingly and unexpectedly, like ghosts. At the end, in some twisted way we are all connected to one another -- I to his ex-lovers and he to mine -- trying to make sense of love and life.
In the weeks after my first real heartbreak, I made an effort to spend time with my ex in a misguided attempt to prove that, despite being brutally dumped, I was still awesome. He couldn't care less; he had already started dating someone else. But being around the source of my rage was eating me alive.
The zen master in me wants to put on a soothing voice and say that everything happens for a reason, that we learn from our pasts, and that pain can be a teacher. But let's talk instead about the ways of doing it with class; ways that make it hurt less and leave the door open to friendship. Maybe not right away, but eventually.
While I have never been married, and certainly hope never to divorce, I have had my share of failed relationships and rejections. As I reflect back on my own past relationships failures, I can honestly say there is no one that I wish I was still with. In fact, I've found myself thanking God that they are out of my life.