After what feels like a lifetime of battling drug and alcohol addiction, and my own tenuous mental health issues, three years ago -- at the age of 47 -- I finally found the strength to tell my wife and adult son that I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Like too many other survivors of childhood sexual violence who decide to go public with their disclosure, I have lost contact with my mother and my siblings as a result. If you really want to know how to destroy an already fragile soul, take away the one thing that a survivor of sexual violence needs most -- connection, which equates as validation and worthiness.
Eva Mozes Kor turned to Hallmark in the mid-1990s when looking to thank a former Nazi for going on the record about his job monitoring the gas chambers that murdered her parents and two older sisters. Forgiveness, she argues, delivers internal peace while clearing the mind of hate, making people more content and productive in both their personal and professional lives.
When was the last time you felt that you had to prove something to the people you love? When you feel that you're not good enough, you often find yourself in isolation, sitting in the dark room, abandoned and longing for love -- Here is the eight-step process for you to take on in order to never ever again be lost in the fear of not being enough.
After being imprisoned for over a decade, Omar Khadr is now free on bail. In his first public appearance and media scrum, we witnessed not a mean-spirited radicalized militant, but rather, an articulate humbled young man, and in his own words, someone eager to "prove to [Canadians] that I'm more than what they thought of me."
I started by telling you about my own experience in the world of abuse. I did this because those experiences are what helped me understand the importance of healing in light of a frightening situation. These women -- our sisters -- need our support and understanding to heal. But we cannot forget the men. At some point we are going to have to turn around and help heal this man. Many will think he is undeserving, but he too experienced trauma in his life which he has had to cope with. I'm not talking about forgiveness, I'm talking about compassion.
You need to see that your partner has suffered too, not from your anger, but from the weight of his or her own actions. If you believe your partner deeply regrets his actions, knows he was wrong, and even feels he violated his own personal standards, you will feel more trusting and open to forgiveness.
It took me a long time to learn that my self-consciousness is a signal of the judgment inside of me; I think you're judging me because I've judged for the same reasons. Through social norms or because of my very own judgy gene, I deemed xyz as unacceptable. I can't escape it. We're all judgmental and will be for all the evers. Maybe it's baked into our DNA? Well, I demand a restrand!
I am friends with all my exes! Many people find this very strange. Many years ago I had an extremely bad break up, and because there was so much hurt between us we decided to not speak. This was one of the most difficult and challenging times of my life. But as I get older I have little time for bitterness, anger, or hurt. If there is an ex in your life whom you feel anger towards or cannot speak to them, let them go.
One of my childhoods was happy. The B&W movies projected on our small TV screen, more often than not, contradicted the drama I was living in my own home movie reels. But there were exceptions. In fact, the images of our television's B&W movies were very real to me. Sidney Poitier was one of those images, and thankfully, he made repeat appearances.