Recently I started a theatre company with my six best friends. Sounds like a really great way to ruin a bunch of relationships, doesn't it? But here's the kicker. It's actually really working. We are by no means perfect and are still in the thick of figuring out a process that works best for us. These are the things that I've learned so far on this weird little journey.
You can safely assume by the fact that I had four children in five and a half years, that I did not have much difficulty conceiving. However, two of my very best friends struggled for years to get pregnant, so while I would not want to give advice to someone who can't conceive, I do feel qualified to give advice about what do to when your friend can't get pregnant while you can.
A strange thing happened when my son was diagnosed with autism a few years ago. Some of my friends dove for the hills. They didn't all disappear, but some just gradually dropped off. This post isn't about finger-pointing. I get how hard it is. You don't know what to say without feeling awkward or guilty.
In this era of being super-connected through our technology, the most shocking thing we can do today is to totally disconnect from another person. It's impossible to know why Charlize chose ghosting as her way of dealing with Sean, or even if that's actually what she did, but it makes me think about the whole idea of making a clean break from someone in a world that's all about connectivity.
There may not have been the stress of wondering about first kisses at the end, but I found I had to carefully navigate other potentially sensitive obstacles, like joking about Calliou being sent up to Netflix from the seventh circle of hell. In other words, I learned first play dates didn't differ all that much from first dates.
Here's the deal: when you change your life, some people aren't meant to stick around. When you think about it, it makes sense. If we are the sum of our five closest friends and you're striving to do more and be more, it stands to reason that your set of five close friends will change over time. And yep, you guessed it, I'm writing about this because it happened to me recently.
To me, Facebook is like a cocktail party. Sometimes, you engage in mindless, idle chatter, and sometimes you find yourself deep in a great discussion. I got to thinking about all those statuses people compose in order to create a specific impression -- I am fabulous and you should want to be me -- that in fact have the opposite desired effect: I am annoying and should be blocked.
I've just entered the beginning of my 30s and there are quite a few things about life that I'm still confused by and haven't quite "figured out" yet. But there's one thing, without a doubt, that I feel I've managed to really figure out -- it's the type of girlfriends that I should work hard to keep in my life.
Like a good friend are looking forward to guiding her through the hemorrhoid-laden, mood swing-driven, nauseating ball of heartburn, nine months of torture that pregnancy can be. But as months pass, you wait for a sign that she has any pregnancy symptom aside from her perfect beach ball belly and constant gold and pink glow.
My children, like many lucky kids, have an amazing auntie. She's the kind of aunt who comes along on road trips, takes my kids for the weekend, buys thoughtful gifts, and organizes living-room dance parties whenever she's over. My children love their Auntie Katy, and my husband (her brother) and I need her.
Many of us are convinced that being "nice" is the way to win a friend or a partner and keep them; that if we please this person and give them what they need, they'll love us and stay with us, forever. Well, it doesn't really work that way. When we're "nice," the other person can't know who we really are.
Why, in a time when we have more information available to us than ever, when WHO member states have adopted "a historic" resolution to address violence against women and girls, and when consent is being introduced into school curricula in some Canadian provinces, does violence against women still remain largely hidden?
The reality is that rebounding and finding your mojo once more after a significant setback, failure or loss involves a lot more than simply "shaking it off" no matter what Taylor Swift says. It takes some essential and necessary stages and actions that if missed will keep you stuck, and stop you from learning and growing from the experience, which no matter how unpleasant is a rich opportunity for personal growth.
The enthusiasm requirement is a biggie, because excitement is infectious. Cheerleaders can get worn out just like the adventurer they're supporting. When you've been whining for two weeks straight or copping out on doing what you've got to do to make it happen, they need to be so keen on your success that they'll keep pushing you right on through it.
Around the holidays we hear all about spending time with loved ones, being grateful and showing them how much we care. A lot of our thoughts will be about our family and friends. But lately social media has changed our perception of friendship, how we view it, how we behave towards our friends, even how we use the word "friend."
Significantly, people who had more power in the office were less likely to report feeling dirty when it came to networking, and engaged in it more often. That effect can make it harder to penetrate existing power structures, because it means those already in power are more comfortable with networking and continue to reinforce and advance their positions.
Have the talk before you hook-up (or once you've peed right after) and set the lay of land. You both know what this is. Games are meant to be played with rope and whipped cream, not with each other's emotions. If you're feeling compromised about a situation have the courtesy to put it out there and mutual respect to problem-solve together.