To me, Facebook is like a cocktail party. Sometimes, you engage in mindless, idle chatter, and sometimes you find yourself deep in a great discussion. I got to thinking about all those statuses people compose in order to create a specific impression -- I am fabulous and you should want to be me -- that in fact have the opposite desired effect: I am annoying and should be blocked.
I've just entered the beginning of my 30s and there are quite a few things about life that I'm still confused by and haven't quite "figured out" yet. But there's one thing, without a doubt, that I feel I've managed to really figure out -- it's the type of girlfriends that I should work hard to keep in my life.
Like a good friend are looking forward to guiding her through the hemorrhoid-laden, mood swing-driven, nauseating ball of heartburn, nine months of torture that pregnancy can be. But as months pass, you wait for a sign that she has any pregnancy symptom aside from her perfect beach ball belly and constant gold and pink glow.
My children, like many lucky kids, have an amazing auntie. She's the kind of aunt who comes along on road trips, takes my kids for the weekend, buys thoughtful gifts, and organizes living-room dance parties whenever she's over. My children love their Auntie Katy, and my husband (her brother) and I need her.
Many of us are convinced that being "nice" is the way to win a friend or a partner and keep them; that if we please this person and give them what they need, they'll love us and stay with us, forever. Well, it doesn't really work that way. When we're "nice," the other person can't know who we really are.
Why, in a time when we have more information available to us than ever, when WHO member states have adopted "a historic" resolution to address violence against women and girls, and when consent is being introduced into school curricula in some Canadian provinces, does violence against women still remain largely hidden?
The reality is that rebounding and finding your mojo once more after a significant setback, failure or loss involves a lot more than simply "shaking it off" no matter what Taylor Swift says. It takes some essential and necessary stages and actions that if missed will keep you stuck, and stop you from learning and growing from the experience, which no matter how unpleasant is a rich opportunity for personal growth.
The enthusiasm requirement is a biggie, because excitement is infectious. Cheerleaders can get worn out just like the adventurer they're supporting. When you've been whining for two weeks straight or copping out on doing what you've got to do to make it happen, they need to be so keen on your success that they'll keep pushing you right on through it.
Around the holidays we hear all about spending time with loved ones, being grateful and showing them how much we care. A lot of our thoughts will be about our family and friends. But lately social media has changed our perception of friendship, how we view it, how we behave towards our friends, even how we use the word "friend."
Significantly, people who had more power in the office were less likely to report feeling dirty when it came to networking, and engaged in it more often. That effect can make it harder to penetrate existing power structures, because it means those already in power are more comfortable with networking and continue to reinforce and advance their positions.
Have the talk before you hook-up (or once you've peed right after) and set the lay of land. You both know what this is. Games are meant to be played with rope and whipped cream, not with each other's emotions. If you're feeling compromised about a situation have the courtesy to put it out there and mutual respect to problem-solve together.
If you messed up that guitar solo you've been working on or you busted your ass on some decrepit stage only to receive a payment of a burger and two drink tickets, remember; you have had the opportunity to 'hang out' with good friends and hopefully, dare I say it, have a fun. Days move fast, changes happen quick and in no time you will be at a job, shirt tucked in your freshly pressed khakis.
I used to be one of those girls who said I didn't like girls. Now I'm really embarrassed. I am a reformed girl hater. I still have a ton of dude friends (whom I also love and am obsessed with and think the world of and enjoy the person I am when I am with!) but I learned how to be a good girlfriend.
For me, as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse in which the perpetrators were male, the issue is further complicated. I've struggled with revealing my thoughts and emotions to other men, and when I do, it's generally camouflaged by using jokes. Women typically build relationships based on social connectivity while men build them based on shared activity or goal orientation.
We can't be Sally Field on Oscar night all the time. We will all be served with harsh criticisms, strange accusations, and cruel comments every once in a while, and it's how we deal with it that really demonstrates the true nature of our character. If you know who you are and strive to be the best person that you can be, you have nothing to worry about.
Expressing my recent distaste for being single, my friend shared her secret to healing the wounds of a long-term relationship that ended. After months of feeling down, she decided to pick herself up and embark on what she branded, "The year of fun." The formula breaks down into a simple equation: open-minded attitude + thirst for adventure = year of fun.