Have the talk before you hook-up (or once you've peed right after) and set the lay of land. You both know what this is. Games are meant to be played with rope and whipped cream, not with each other's emotions. If you're feeling compromised about a situation have the courtesy to put it out there and mutual respect to problem-solve together.
If you messed up that guitar solo you've been working on or you busted your ass on some decrepit stage only to receive a payment of a burger and two drink tickets, remember; you have had the opportunity to 'hang out' with good friends and hopefully, dare I say it, have a fun. Days move fast, changes happen quick and in no time you will be at a job, shirt tucked in your freshly pressed khakis.
I used to be one of those girls who said I didn't like girls. Now I'm really embarrassed. I am a reformed girl hater. I still have a ton of dude friends (whom I also love and am obsessed with and think the world of and enjoy the person I am when I am with!) but I learned how to be a good girlfriend.
For me, as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse in which the perpetrators were male, the issue is further complicated. I've struggled with revealing my thoughts and emotions to other men, and when I do, it's generally camouflaged by using jokes. Women typically build relationships based on social connectivity while men build them based on shared activity or goal orientation.
We can't be Sally Field on Oscar night all the time. We will all be served with harsh criticisms, strange accusations, and cruel comments every once in a while, and it's how we deal with it that really demonstrates the true nature of our character. If you know who you are and strive to be the best person that you can be, you have nothing to worry about.
Expressing my recent distaste for being single, my friend shared her secret to healing the wounds of a long-term relationship that ended. After months of feeling down, she decided to pick herself up and embark on what she branded, "The year of fun." The formula breaks down into a simple equation: open-minded attitude + thirst for adventure = year of fun.
It is well established that our brains are social. Neuroscience is confirming what we have always known: we are better -- healthier and happier -- when we have friends. So, if you're thinking that you might want to re-connect with some old friends, or cultivate some new friends, here are 15 reasons to get you started.
When I was in high school, I spent an entire summer dissecting the dialogue of Richard Linklater's coming-of-age classic "Dazed and Confused." A few decades later, I caught myself muttering a popular line from the film to colleagues over lunch -- the one that quite arguably kickstarted Matthew McConaughey's career, "I get older, they stay the same age." Unlike McConaughey's character, I wasn't referring to high school girls. I was referring to my network of friends.
My whole life, I have always cast a wide net when meeting new people. And the mesh was tight. All were scooped up, all were brought in close, barely any escaped through the tiny holes. I have been told I am friendly -- typically meant as a compliment -- but cancer taught me that even good things require moderation.
Ten years ago, most of my friends were male. That's not to say that I didn't see the value in having girlfriends, I just preferred the simplicity and lighthearted approach of men. There was very little drama and very low expectations associated with these kinds of friendships. But once I reached my mid-20s, girlfriends became more important.
"Tell me something happy," my friend requested today after an hour of divorce-talk. "I don't want to be the friend who just calls to cry. I don't want to use you as a crutch." "I'll be glad to tell you happy things," I replied, "but don't think it's not okay to call and cry. I am honoured that you choose me to call when you need advice."
Many of us aren't really sure how to let someone else know that their choices (fashion or otherwise) aren't necessarily the most flattering or becoming, without hurting their feelings. Or maybe we feel like we should mind our own business. But in all honesty, don't you think that a good friend, a true friend, wouldn't let their friend out of the house looking anything less than stellar?
She'd never told me, but Tom not only drinks too much, he also berates Mary when she needs support, avoids her when she needs love, and stifles her when she needs to express herself. Over time she learned to cower and hide, until her voice became as faint and tentative as the yip of a puppy locked too long in the cellar.
It started with a prenatal yoga class. Across the room, the beginning of a bond formed with another mom-to-be with a due date close to mine. We had a lot of the same pregnancy side effects. We were both having boys. She was energetic and outgoing - and SO excited about having a baby - it was hard not to notice her.