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I can read, write and speak in two other languages in addition to English and have a strong background in a third. My mother tongue is Urdu. However, my children grew up speaking English. After having many entertaining conversations such as the following with my children, I now realize that English is indeed a difficult language to become proficient in.
Looking back, thirty was somewhat of a milestone birthday, but instead of thinking of all the things I have done with my life, I zeroed in on the sh*t I didn't own, do, feel, get better at, by thirty.
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When I was 11 years old Baby One More Time debuted and I knew, instantly, that I wanted to be a slut. JUST KIDDING. A stripper. Obviously, a stripper. I kid, I kid. I don't have the body to be a strip...
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With advances in singledom such as Tinder, being single has never been more entertaining. I've decided to not waste the pretty and to fully enjoy being young, single and mostly free of societal and hormonal pressures. Still, I haven't quite decided if I'm part the solution or the problem.
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Kirk Cameron believes (drum roll please) that, "Wives are to honour and respect and follow their husband's lead, not to tell their husband how he ought to be a better husband." WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? I'm so serious. Partners, PARTNERS are supposed to honour each other and treat each other with respect.
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Nothing says that your hotel staff "understands you" better than a little bit of humour, and trivago.ca found the most hilarious, dirty, and occasionally disturbing hotel Do Not Disturb signs that wil...
Awkward Family Photos
At the ripe old age of 28, I still, sincerely, don't know how I feel about having kids. Not about other people having kids -- that I know (no more than two and for God's sake don't helicopter parent, it creates MONSTERS and someday one of them will have to be PRIME MINISTER!).
Though the reasons for detention haven't changed too much over the years (tardiness, talking too much, incessant spitballs), only millennial kids could have gotten these detention slips! Check out the...
Awkward Family Photos
We've all been there. After all, moms are busy people. We're engaged in a daily balancing act, trying to keep our kids fed, clothed and happy, while juggling meals, jobs, housework and "me time" (and...
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Traditionally, the Christmas holidays are supposed to be a time of good food, generosity and family get togethers. But in reality, those gatherings can be a bit, well, awkward. To prove just how inter...
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I don't wear makeup because of society. It's not because every endorsed picture of the naturally exquisite Sofia Vergara makes me want to set my corneas on fire. It's not because I don't like what I see in the mirror without embellishments (okay, it's a bit of all of those things). It's because, for the most part, wearing make up makes my days better.
This past summer I was lucky enough to go on a 10-week book tour all over North America. What surprised me was to find out how much people stood behind their politics without realizing that they were often calling themselves the wrong thing. Here's a few examples.
It's almost All Hallow's Eve and people from age three to age 99 will be dressing up in costume, eating candy, and partying the night away on this spooky, festive occasion. Most people know the history of Halloween at this point but here are five random facts about Halloween you just might not know.
The doctor entered with his miner's light and didn't even say hello. He said, "Scooch." Scooch is never a comfortable word for a woman. Why does he get all chatty when he's south of the border? Once he's got out the salad servers, he starts talking about his golf game. One time he said, "Oh, you've been to the beach."
If you spend a lot of time watching movies, you begin to notice a trend: movies are about Average Joes. Yet it seems Hollywood apparently would have us believe that John Q. Public has easy access to all the things people with money tend to be doing. Here's a list of five examples of pricey things that we keep seeing Average Janes doing on TV and in the movies.
I saw someone wearing parachute pants the other day. It reminded me that clothing and fashion goes out of style and then comes back in again. Yet there remains several fashion choices that need to forever say in the "DO NOT RESUSCITATE" category. What follows are five things you won't see me wearing...and that no grown man should be wearing.
I think the biggest ruse that women try to sell themselves, and each other, is that WE are aging naturally. While some of us are 'maturing' better than others, my belief is that after a certain age most women are actively doing their personal best to slow down father time -- they're just not telling anyone about it.
Yesterday, some words came out of my mouth. And those words got me thinking. It occurred to me that many of the phrases uttered by parents and children to each other in the heat of growing up a good family could also very easily be instead uttered in...the heat of the moment, if you know what I mean. Go over these phrases and try to figure out if they're Sex or Parenting?
A recent survey found women who worked full time outside the home after having children had better mental and physical health by age 40 than those who had not. That may be because the reward system for moms at home leaves something to be desired. In that there really isn't one.
Before your children get to three years old, you may want to practice, you know, so you don't accidentally eat them at some point during that rewarding and calming year. Here are my suggestions, ways...
Moms at the park playing with their kids are a common sight in most neighborhoods. Not surprisingly then, is it any wonder that there are as many different types of moms at the park as there are days of the week? Read on and you'll find that you'll likely recognize at least a few of these parents at your local playground.
Another year gone by, another year filled with annoying parenting trends. Here are some fads I'd like to see disappear by the end of 2013, including trophies for every participant and snack time every half hour!
My eight-year-old son has been cheating on his home reading. "How is that possible?" you might ask. "How is it possible that he's been doing this for six weeks and you never noticed?" you might ask.
While I believe it is important to keep our kids somewhat up to date with current affairs, do they really need to know and digest every piece of bad information that hits the ever expanding radar? A local station used to announce, just prior to the news, "It's 10 o'clock. Do you know where your children are?" I say, better yet, "Do your children always need to know what you know?"
If a real friend is the person who tells you when you have bad breath, then what I'm about to tell you will make me your best friend; whenever you eat sushi, you are embarrassing yourself. That's right, the abominations you commit to your California Roll bring shame upon your whole family.
Are you one of those people who rub their chopsticks together? Do you proudly explain to your rube aunt from Kelowna that this is how you get rid of the splinters? Dude, look around you. This isn't Quest for Fire. You are not Survivorman Les Stroud, trying to get some kindling to smoke. You are in a sushi-ya on Broadway.
As a mom who has brought up a few toddlers through to their inevitable teenage stage, I know that there can be some great things about having these older kids in the house. So here are the great qualities today's teenagers have, supported by words from their own brace-laden mouths.