Some Muslims who struggle between their sexuality and faith internalize the opinions of conservative Muslim scholars. The only way they can address such cognitive dissonance is by accepting their struggle as a test from God.
Growing up I was taught that homosexuality was bad. Not by my family, but by society. I took an extreme stance on homosexuality and internalized it in a very detrimental way. To keep people from knowing about my "secret", I became a gang member. I was known for being ruthless to others. Early 2009, I was arrested and sent to serve time with the State of Georgia. I remember asking the prison Imam about homosexuality, who told me that the only difference of opinion in traditional Sunni law was the manner in which the homosexual was to be executed. During Pride in Atlanta, I was told about an organization that changed my life forever.