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In April of this year, I attended the Toronto International Porn Festival. I spent a few hours watching films -- and clips of films -- curated from the last ten years of feminist pornography. I am not a consumer, but I figured any sex educator worth her salt should dip in every now and again. I'm glad I did: There was fun; there was joy; and consent was the order of the day.
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Recently over coffee, a friend complained that none of her friends seemed to want to talk about their sex lives any more. Bear in mind, we are both hovering around 70. You might be thinking, "Of course your peers don't want to talk about their non-existent sex lives." And you would be wrong.
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Cancer diagnosis and treatment can cause physical changes that affect sexual desire. Cancer treatments can put women into permanent menopause and bring on a host of emotions and challenges for women on the cancer journey.
Learning when to say "no" can be the greatest gift in your life. Because when you say "yes" to people or projects in order to not lose respect in people's eyes, what you do is lose respect for yoursel...
It could be one of the most fulfilling conversations you'll have.
It's so easy to take our partners for granted, especially when we've been together for a while (like my husband and me). Instead, my husband thanks me for my work even if it's on my side of the domestic ledger, and I try to do the same.
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Let's teach young people about emotional and sexual intimacy, so that when they are ready to engage in more sophisticated sexual activity, they are able to be present, find connection, take risks, experience erotic intimacy, communicate their desires, explore and be authentic.
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It can be a tough conversation to start. Often when patients raise the issue, "it" has been going on for a while. I'm talking about painful sex. Painful intercourse may be a sign of a gynaecological problem, such as ovarian cysts or endometriosis; but problems with sexual response, such as a lack of desire or a lack of sexual arousal, may also be the cause.
As humans we share an innate desire to connect with others. However, not all people seek to connect for the same reasons, or in the same way. Some people choose to connect a little. While some people need to connect a lot.
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Have your formerly grand romantic efforts dwindled to a half-hearted, "So, you wanna?" Well, today is your -- and your partner's -- lucky day. Here are eight easy ways to class-up a sex life that has fallen out of fashion.
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It's been my experience, on a personal and professional level, that for real connections to happen, we need to move slowly in our process of opening up. I understand Mr. Boomer's frustration with the unending stream of platitudes he was encountering, but I don't think that going to the other extreme is the answer.
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Intimacy requires authenticity, because if you're not real, the other person can't see you for who you are. If you're never authentic, other people will be interacting with a persona, and you won't be loved for your true self. Even if you're in a relationship, you'll be terribly lonely.
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When I advise people to be responsible for their own pleasure the first thing I want them to do is let go of the myth that they are responsible for their partner's orgasm. Each person is only responsible for their own pleasure and orgasm (if orgasm is what they are after).
These five easy life hacks will provide you with simple strategies to shift your energy and focus from work and business to love and passion. They don't require a lot of hard work, but they do require serious commitment that I know you have.
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People say that Tinder is addictive, and I can see why. It provides no joy, no closeness, no meaning. It's superficially stimulating and gives a false promise of fulfillment; just enough to compel the user to repeat the activity over and over again, in the hopes that eventually, they'll find what they're looking for.
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What could be more romantic? You and your partner decide you are ready to start a family. You throw away the birth control, have a quiet evening together and excitedly ravish each other before falling peacefully asleep dreaming of strollers, onesies and playdates.
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Those lucky folks who seem to coast through life without anything ever going wrong? Believe me, they are few and far between. Having problems is normal, not having them is far more unusual! Here's the thing, it's generally only when we reveal our true selves that we can fully connect and establish true intimacy with others.
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Here is some proof. Humour is one of the highest rated traits for attracting a lover -- ranked by men as appealing, topping even 'wearing sexy clothes'. Both men and women considered humor to be in the top three traits that make someone appealing for short-term (read "sexual") or long-term (read "partner") connections.
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Research showed that couples who spent extra time together reported feeling more satisfied with both their sex lives and their relationship with their partner. The afterglow of post-sex affection proved to be long lasting for couples, with participants reporting higher levels of satisfaction with their sex lives and relationships in a follow-up survey conducted three months later.
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For me, as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse in which the perpetrators were male, the issue is further complicated. I've struggled with revealing my thoughts and emotions to other men, and when I do, it's generally camouflaged by using jokes. Women typically build relationships based on social connectivity while men build them based on shared activity or goal orientation.
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Couples who live together in intimacy take for granted the many times in a day when they touch each other, from bumping into one another in the bathroom, to fingertips brushing over a coffee cup or one cold foot seeking out the warmer one under the blanket.
Want to really rev up your relationship? Even your life? Step it up for our one-week relationship challenge. We challenge you to embrace your relationship as the most important thing in your life. The most interesting thing is that if you and your partner meet this challenge, you'll find your own needs met in a way that doesn't happen when you're both optimizing for yourselves.
By now, most people recognize that the stages of grief outlined in the Kubler-Ross model are not a map. Each of us walks that lonely road in our own way. ut there is one aspect of grief that no one talks about, because it isn't "nice." But, let's be blunt: some part of grief is just plain feeling sorry for yourself.
Couples with young children frequently walk into my office a few years into parenting admitting that they don't have sex often enough. So, how do we increase the amount of intimacy in our relationships when we have so little time? The following are a few ideas on how to make it happen.
The truth is, both men and women tend to complain about the same things when it comes to sex, particularly when they're in a long-term relationship. Here are eight of the most common complaints I hear from couples, along with suggestions to turn a partner's frown upside down.
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I've always yearned to lie beside the man I love and discuss a good book. To me, the mere idea of it feels romantic. Intimate. Even arousing.
No matter how lovestruck a couple might be, there's an important divide that comes up rather quickly in a relationship -- to kiss in public, or keep all manner of touching private. For some, kissing a...
What does intimacy mean to you? Sexual intimacy is probably the most stereotypical and most familiar definition of the word in modern society. But most people want more than just the act of sex -- they want some depth.
Like any other "addiction," I think a porn or sex addiction has more to do with our own abilities to cope and achieve healthy, interpersonal sexual and emotional relationships.
I can teach you how to turn your hum-drum sex life and your lukewarm connection into a relationship that will deeply satisfy you both. Step one: be clear that this is not about sex -- and mean it.
I've always believed that relationships are the best spiritual practice we could ever engage in. Just like I've demonstrated above, we trigger each other and show each other where we most need to grow.