Despite my deep longing to be a mother, I am somehow feeling more resigned now as we wait to hear the verdict of our fourth cycle. I feel much less desperate, much less crazed about it working. Because chances are it didn't, no matter how hard I wish it did. My hope feels irrelevant and in relinquishing it I feel more prepared this time. I am steeling myself off, encasing my heart, bracing myself for bad news.
No part of me regrets the decision I made to be an egg donor but I regret how I went about it and the contract I locked myself into. I regret not requesting an open donation. I did not understand the gravity of my decisions. I believed I was mature and now I look back and feel like I was just a kid. That psychological screening, many years ago, had "screened" a version of myself I could no longer relate to. I had no way of knowing that egg donation would impact my life the way it did.
There's much to commend in the new policy; most importantly it covers all forms of infertility, regardless of sex, gender, sexual orientation or family status. The problem lies in what has not yet been addressed by the province -- critical issues that surround both publicly and privately funded IVF -- that demand attention.
Fertility clinics with low or average success rates, and those not in step with the most recent scientific advances, faced a conflict of interest. Their patients would be more likely to become pregnant with the help of their more competent and cutting-edge competitors, but the clinics would be more profitable if they did not direct them there. With this new found insight, I no longer thought of myself as an IVF patient and began to consider myself an IVF consumer.
Jaime you decided to come forward with your personal experiences and give a voice to all of those who found that trying for a baby didn't go as they planned. You didn't have to share this information, but you did. By doing so, you brought awareness to infertility and hope to women all over the world. You've given a ray of hope to those who needed it amidst the flurry of injectable medications, ultrasounds, and doctor appointments. You've brought encouragement to those who went through the "two week wait" with baited breath only to be heartbroken and disappointed.
Last week, Quebec Health Minister Gaétan Barrette tabled a bill that, if passed, will strictly prohibit women over the age of 42 from having access to in vitro fertilization (IVF). While the purpose of the bill, on the surface at least, is to lessen financial strain on the healthcare system, this particular section of the bill doesn't seem to have been included for that purpose. It seems much more likely that what the Quebec government is trying to save is donor eggs, not dollars.
When I finally got married at 37, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant. But it happened in a flash on our honeymoon and we had a son. I was one of my only friends who openly wanted a second child. So began the trying; a summer of love. Which then turned into a fall of resentment. Now my sister and I are in the waiting cubicle of an IVF suite in downtown Toronto.
For years now, ever since the Assisted Human Reproduction Act became law back in 2004 and prohibited the purchase of donor gametes from a donor or a person acting on behalf of a donor, most donor sperm used in Canada has been imported via the U.S. or other countries. The problem? Here it is: at this point, most egg banks in the U.S. offer only anonymously donated eggs. To make a long story short, whether or not this is legal is a nuanced answer where the devil is in the details but suffice it to say that I think it is possible to carefully work within the confines of the AHRA to import ova into Canada in a legal manner.
There has been a veritable flood of articles in Canadian media recently about the practice of California IVF: Davis Fertility Center Inc. creating embryos to sell to clients to be used in IVF. Based on my conversations with fertility lawyers and clinicians, the ethical concern and associated uproar isn't about the sale of embryos per se, but about clinicians creating embryos at their discretion without any particular parents in mind, using the characteristics that the clinicians determine are most likely in demand. This is what is so upsetting to so many.
For the first time ever the majority of women giving birth today are over the age of 30. Statistics Canada reports this is about two and a half time the percentage in 1974. This matters as a woman's fertility starts to decline at age 28. In fact, one in six couples trying to have a child are infertile. Do these medical facts mean that we should stop encouraging women to be fully contributing members of our economy? Absolutely not! On the contrary, it means government policy must begin to keep pace with modern realities and available medical technologies.
"Reproductive tourism" is the practice of infertile people crossing international borders to receive technologically advanced reproductive services. Indeed, the international fertility trade is now big business, with India having recently emerged as the likely world leader in providing services -- most controversially the hiring of surrogate mothers -- at comparatively low costs. In our recent paper we attempted to elucidate some of the factors that make the maternal surrogacy industry ethically troubling to many people. On one hand, it's hard not to celebrate a poor woman's opportunity to pull herself out of poverty by exercising her autonomy over her body. On the other hand, there's no denying that when the poor and illiterate enter into a commercial relationship with people of greater wealth and power, there's usually more than a soupcon of exploitation involved.