Learn from the past and set a course for a new future. This is the job your Mentor should join you in but remember, it is YOU who must be in command. Use your courage to venture forth, your wisdom to assess, your determination to soldier on in the face of setbacks and your faith to learn from those around you.
As a life coach, I work with all sorts of people in their teens and 20s. I learn from all of them. One of my most powerful learning lessons came from a 13-year-old client with Autism, who allowed me to see the dangers of people in power trying to "do the right thing." I am pleased to share with you now the inner workings of one the most interesting minds I have ever met.
Avoid really talking to each other! Talking is vastly over-rated. All it does it force you to actually hear the other's side of things and that can only lead to understanding. which makes resentment much more difficult. Circumvent occasions for pleasantries. Nothing good comes from giving the other person the benefit of the doubt.
So you went from being a slacker with unrealized potential to a mover and shaker in the world in 13 steps. Or more likely, you just read all the blog versions of the whole book (without skipping over too much, I hope) and you are wondering a bunch of questions. I will answer the questions first and then get to the ones who have gone through the 13 steps.
Most people feel something missing in their lives. So, how do we bring meaning into our lives? How do we begin to feel truly alive? Do something crazy! Help someone else. Choose to make one small positive change in the world. When we start thinking about helping others, we raise not only their hopes but our own heart vibrations. Our hearts rise up beyond the petty slights and missteps of daily life and begin to focus on a bigger picture.
When you are mindful of your daily life, your life is one of being present. Of really living and not just killing time to go virtual. Learning to care and to matter may be one of the greatest commodities in the age of ideas because then your work, play, study and relationship times become chances to experience, feel, think and grow. Live each day like it was the only one you have. Care about people and learn from everything.
The young clients I work with tend to be addicted to: video gaming, magic cards, junk food and/or cannabis. Many would say that their addictions seem to provide a level of comfort -- a buffer from an unsafe world. Having an addictive nature means that you have a passionate nature. So, how do you take these passions and make them become something generative?
So here you are, taking another stab at "making it" in life. Your parents are cautiously optimistic.You are non-committal. Your dog still thinks you're amazing (but he likes Yanni). It should go well. You're older. You've had a few "challenges" under you belt and you've survived. You're not on the street or in a cult or both. Then why so nervous?
In a positive stage of your life, you're meeting with people who will accept you for following your purpose and sharing the qualities of passion and striving that you have in common. Each positive action builds upon itself. Each setback becomes merely a minor bump on the road you are travelling on and everything leads you towards your bliss. You may just find yourself unboxed and free for the very first time!
You can study, you can practice, you can philosophize all you want, it means diddly until you test it out there in the "real world." Now comes the next step for a young adult searching to find their success in life: putting three toes in the water. If you get three straight failures, remember Edison took 10,000 wrong tries to find the right filament, creating the incandescent bulb.
What would you do? How would you be? How would you go about it? Who would you seek out? What if it wasn't what you thought it would be? How would you know when you'd arrived? Be careful for what you wish for. I am going to give you the keys to make whatever you want happen as long as it is for the benefit of all who are touched by your choices.
Now meet your greatest challenger: the time-stealer. He (or she) is fun, charming, great to be with, someone you are happy to do things with, gets all your jokes, just all around great to kill time with. Yes, the time-stealer is a time-killer. You never get it back, and yet, you value the time spent with them.
We need to own what we do. The truth is that it is the things we do just for ourselves, things that we do on a daily basis, things we do when we are inspired but also when we are sick of doing them that builds character and creates something I call Generativity -- the things that one does that improve the quality of life in any way, moment by moment.
At some point in our childhood, we have had some negative incidents happen to us that have caused us to be self-limiting. These become tapes playing in our heads so often that we don't even notice what they say anymore but they effect every decision we make. Here is an example of changing the loops:
Historically, the act of apprenticeship began when a person reached somewhere between the ages of 10 and 15. However, that practice changed rapidly with the inclusion of child labor laws and free education for children -- both great movements but both came at the cost of the influence of experiencing a one-on-one mentor; someone to influence the success of a person in their adolescent years. The following is a guide to finding the proper mentor for an individual student.
Success starts with looking at the strengths and challenges in our daily life. Through these challenges, we can understand the patterns that we keep repeating and the self-limiting tapes running in our sub-conscious. Our strengths can inspire us to rise over these repeating patterns and tapes, leading us to a richer life. I invite you to try these exercises for a happier, fulfilling life.
There is a group of roughly 20 per cent of our youth who are doing great in school, in relationships and in their lifestyles but for the majority of the young people today, self-sabotage is the daily practice. What are the stumbling blocks that have some many young people today choosing to derail everything that they are given instead of testing their mettle and what are the remedies?
If you are a parent today in the western world, you have joined a very special club. A club of parents cast adrift, drowning in self-doubt while dodging waves of pyscho-babble lurching at them from every direction. It's easy to throw blame around but what is the main question we all want the answer to? "How do I help my child unfold to be their very best in today's world?"
Just imagine... A happy, successful, life where playtime is as fulfilling as work-time. Relationships become opportunities for joy, sharing and lots of close, meaningful contact that is mutually satisfying. But seriously, we're talking about a full life for teens and young adults. Let's face it, the teenage years are not easy and they're not drama-free. Basically a lot about them suck.
How many people are lucky enough to have had not just one great dad, but two? I was! One for my first 16 years, Harry, my birth Father. Another, Stanley, my wife's dad then became mine for the last six years of his life. Your child wants nothing more than to feel appreciated and trusted to rise above the mistakes and be successful. This is what I see everyday in the dads around me.
How do we inspire our children in such an ever changing, unknown world? Simply put, by sharing our passions with them. I have seen first hand that the chances we take, the times we challenge ourselves and the things we incorporate into our lives, that make our lives richer as much as having kids, are our greatest weapons against an unknown future.