As someone who trains Boomers and Gen X'ers to life coach teens and young adults, I often find that the best examples to explain my work to those wanting to know the secrets of working with Millennials, comes from my own personal practice life coaching teens and young adults. Today's topic is: Parents and Millennials -from Miscommunication to Co-creation or How to I Learned to Stop Screaming.
I always say, "if you want to get something... give it." Want to be loved? Love unconditionally. Want to be appreciated? Give earnest praise. Want to be heard? Learn to listen. Really listen. What is real listening? It requires biting your tongue. Not jumping in when your child shares how they perceive life, their problems, their solutions.
To the people who care about them, once this young person chooses "the other way", all the people around them see is the consequences. "Didn't you know that if you did "X" you would end up "Y"". It is understandable for those around you to feel this because the process of suffering is so often done in the dark. The sufferers try to protect those around them and some feel that by minimizing it, it may go away.
As a mentor for teens with autism and their families, I am struck with the level of trust, humility and indomitable spirit that I see in these families weekly on their paths to rising above others limitations of them. I would like to share one story with you from one of my clients and his mom's perspective.
Learn from the past and set a course for a new future. This is the job your Mentor should join you in but remember, it is YOU who must be in command. Use your courage to venture forth, your wisdom to assess, your determination to soldier on in the face of setbacks and your faith to learn from those around you.
As a life coach, I work with all sorts of people in their teens and 20s. I learn from all of them. One of my most powerful learning lessons came from a 13-year-old client with Autism, who allowed me to see the dangers of people in power trying to "do the right thing." I am pleased to share with you now the inner workings of one the most interesting minds I have ever met.
Avoid really talking to each other! Talking is vastly over-rated. All it does it force you to actually hear the other's side of things and that can only lead to understanding. which makes resentment much more difficult. Circumvent occasions for pleasantries. Nothing good comes from giving the other person the benefit of the doubt.
So you went from being a slacker with unrealized potential to a mover and shaker in the world in 13 steps. Or more likely, you just read all the blog versions of the whole book (without skipping over too much, I hope) and you are wondering a bunch of questions. I will answer the questions first and then get to the ones who have gone through the 13 steps.