By now, it's an almost entirely predictable routine: a celebrity takes a tour of the Alberta oilsands for a day or two and quickly harnesses apocalyptic rhetoric in press conferences to detail the experience. Chagrined industry spokespeople lash out. News coverage dissipates after a few days. Rinse and repeat.
My team and I will go down to L.A. and make a movie about our campaign to put a stop to the movie industry which is destroying so many lives. We will be armed with pomposity, judgement, condescension and constant looks of horror on our faces. We will also be armed with important environmental technology that I invented, such as a smart car of dog sleds (my lap dog attached to a child sled) and a carbon capture mask for joggers so that they don't have to contribute to global warming with their excess carbon emissions.
The Oscars is where we celebrate the best of the best in film -- the spine-tingling performances, the cream of the crop. You want the best of the best for your career too, and so why not look to the Oscars for a little inspiration. Here are six tips to help you create a career that's an Oscar worthy show-stopping success.