There were times early on in my separation I didn't think I'd last five days on my own.
I went through horribly dark times over 20 years ago. I was victimized but thanks to Pat, I did not become a permanent victim.
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Father's Day is joyously anticipated by your children, as it is a day to show their appreciation and love for their dad and stepdad. However, for newly separated or divorced fathers, this day can be one of the most difficult times of the year, especially in the circumstance in which they are unable to see their children.
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Life after a divorce can be painful, mostly because ending a relationship with someone you once cared about feels like a loss, and let's face it losses hurt. However, life does go on, and eventually the pain of losing your loved one does go away.
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Separation and divorce bring a veritable banquet of reasons to be angry because the circumstances are often unfair. You probably didn't stop caring or stop trying to make it work. Anger grows out of that loss of control, for yourself and your future. This anger is hung on that line of uncertainty that trails back months, maybe years behind you.
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Whatever past pitfalls you've experienced on Mother's Day as a biological mom or stepmom, remember that you can change it just by how you choose to think about it. We create our own reality. We all matter in our child(ren)'s life.
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I was married to a liar for 25 years. At a very personal level, I have first-hand knowledge of the devastation lying creates in people's lives. I know that liars can be clever, charming, smug, and thoroughly convincing. There is a reason for their lying. In my case it was to hide a very big secret.
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I had such an overwhelming response to my last blog post, in which I described my recent trip to Arizona and how having some "family time" with my kids and ex eventually resulted in tears. I want to t...
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If you are over 50, then the days of bar hopping back in the 1960s, 70s or 80s are long gone. Chances are there are few potential suitors warming a bar stool in today's bar scene. But online there are a multitude of dating possibilities. Feeling a bit anxious about taking the step if you are a late blooming dating neophyte is common.
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It was a novel suggestion. What would I say to my former spouse if given the opportunity? We haven't spoken in nearly two decades. Twenty five years of marriage is so far behind me now that most of my life has been without him. I grew up after he left, a painful but invigorating process.
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One thing I'm realizing about divorce is that it can follow you around like a stray dog. I'm four years post divorce, and there it is, always trailing behind me. If kids weren't involved, I'd get to m...
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Retirement years mean different things to different retirees. Some want to spend those years playing miniature golf in Florida, others want to fulfill lifelong dreams. Travel, giving back with their expertise, and becoming involved in their community in a significant way are just some possibilities. Life expectations at this stage can be very different from your partner.
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We can be steeped in tradition and obligation and feel overwhelmed by the expectations family holidays can bring. There may be that feeling that someone else is driving what we feel is expected of us during a holiday celebration. Could be family, friends or neighbours.
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My former spouse had entered out marriage dishonestly. Other than words, there was no "forsaking all others" honoured in our wedding vows. The truth was finally revealed very much later on our 25th wedding anniversary. Were we destined to divorce or were there other factors?
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I used to look at my life in terms of decades. How was I going to make my mark with each decade? That was easy until I retired and left me wondering what my 60s would bring as a decade. It had certainly started out brilliantly with my first grandchild being born on my 60th birthday.
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Blended families are everywhere, representing nearly 13 per cent of all Canadian households. In the U.S. approximately 40 per cent of adults have a close step-relationship, such as with stepchild or stepparent. The process of bringing two families together, or adding a stepparent, can be extremely complex.
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For women this risk nearly tripled, rising from six to 16 per cent.
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I used to believe that people don't keep score. It turns out they do. Verbal barbs hurled at you in anger reveal that inside everyone is a scorecard. There must be a part of the brain that files those items away. A disagreement flares and some long forgotten event is thrown up in your face
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My sons see many positive changes in me since the divorce twenty years ago. I say I finally grew up.
In many ways I was fearful fifty years ago and now I am quite fearless.
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The way the law works needs to change. As a lawyer, I would much rather help a dozen clients for a few hours each, on an unbundled basis, than spend weeks representing one client in a drawn-out trial. I am confident many of my colleagues feel the same.
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Some Boomers lost their way along the hippy highway over the last fifty years. They took a right turn into casinos and consumerism. Seared in my brain is watching a load of Boomer casino goers unload from a bus and waddle away. Poker chips in hand as they sink into the windowless abyss. Money (both having it and losing it) does things to people. Here's what it did to me.
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Our personal lives, career, retirement, all have borders between one stage and another. They are full of a wide range of complex emotions.There is the border time between being single and being partnered. That time of excitement, anticipation leading up to the commitment.
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Listening to a friend talk about their divorce, I pause and think -- this all sounds familiar. My friend details the lead up to her separation and there are so many similarities it's a bit unnerving. Same actions, same words, same behaviour. How is that possible? Turns out similarities are not even unusual but predictable, right down to the language a departing spouse might use.
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It's that time of year again. Cottage opening. Prompted by that movie 32 years ago, we scraped together some cash and bought the waterfront property of our dreams. Travelling down the dusty back roads of our town we found the perfect piece of land. A huge stand of birch trees and a view straight across the lake.
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This was not the way I'd envisioned raising my kids: as part of a broken family, with so many overwhelming feelings and an inherent sadness that I can't easily fix. And I certainly had not expected my kids to struggle with our divorce for as long as they have. I hadn't known they would suffer so deeply.
I need to talk to these people but I can't. Unfinished business. That's what it is when people in your life leave unexpectedly. You may feel that tug at the moment of change or feel it years later. For me, it threads in and out of my thoughts -- those questions. Some practical, some philosophical.
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Who knew that grand-parenting would be so much fun? Who knew I'd be a solo grandma? It was understood in my marriage that somewhere in the future we would be very proud grandparents together. However, like many baby boomers, our marriage didn't make it. I've been single for 20 years and since 2009 I have been a solo grandma.
Twenty years after my divorce, I can remember -- vividly -- the books that saved me during those early days of finding my way alone. Each book gave me something- the language, hope, and understanding- to help me process the trauma. Millions of people experience the pain of divorce each year.
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Twenty-five years ago I would have told you I was the luckiest woman in the world. I was married to my best friend who I adored and had two wonderful sons. I had it all including the home and picket fence. As it turned out, there was no luck in my marriage. The marital secrets he revealed crippled me emotionally for years after the breakup.
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Being single on Valentine's Day can be rough stuff. Since this is the time of year when the world conspires to tell you that there is something wrong with you if you are not happily paired, it may be tough to keep your spirits high. If you find yourself less-than-happily single, here are ten ways you can make Valentine's Day a little better this year, from someone who knows what she's talking about.
Most people, if they are unhappy in their marriage, are probably thinking about breaking up long before the holidays. But given that the holidays are a traditional family time, couples, especially those with children, loathe creating a sad memory for their children. Yet once the decorations are put away and everyone is back in their routine, many spouses are ready to start taking steps towards a separation.