The media likes us to think that the perfect body, both male and female, is what we want to hold forever, but I'd like to disagree. I'd like to watch time take its toll and hear the words "I love you" with the same sincerity that was spoken when I was once young and beautiful. There is something in this that means so much more than the superficial joy of having someone frozen in perfection.
There's always going to be "the next hottest trend" trying to sell you on how you can have the best mind blowing, knock your hipster-socks off kind of sex. You know, the good-good kind of get-down. Yet, what is the actual key to having a great sex life? Eating more kale? Practicing vaginal weightlifting? Cultivating perfectly pruned pubes?
A recent article in the NY Times titled "To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This," has made a bit of splash on FB and other social media. Anyone at all interested in "love" seems to know about, or be talking about, these 36 questions designed to create "interpersonal closeness." But there are no questions about sex.
Sex is good. Good sex is great. And great sex... well that's the dream right? While I can't promise that the next guy you bring home will be a God in sack, I can all but guarantee that sweating it out at the gym will help turn up the heat in the bedroom. Now that's what I call an effective incentive!
By withholding the truth about her affair from her husband, Tabitha holds all the cards when it comes to their marriage. She is able to preserve what matters most to her-her family life, financial security and the love of her husband-but on her own terms. Her husband is continuing to commit to the relationship under false pretences.
You've just woken up from a deep sleep and then remember that you've been romping all night with the Sandman who may also happen to be your Ex. That's when the WTF moment kicks in. Sex dreams happen to everyone. Sometimes they are as pleasurable as riding white horses in the meadow with George Clooney or getting naughty with Mila Kunis' legs wrapped around your waist.
He walks in, smiling. I like people that smile. I smile A LOT. Within minutes of the date, he shows me pictures of his cat. Don't be foiled by an eyebrow ring, ladies. Sometimes the edgy looking ones are big softies. He LOVES cats! He shows me many pictures of his kitty, including painted portraits.
I can't believe I did it. I hit the heart button on a guy with KIDS in his profile picture. Not one, but TWO kids! How mature do I think I am? Still...(deep breath) he is attractive. And I am 34. I have to face the fact that guys in my age bracket might have offspring, whether it was on purpose, or they forgot to pull out.
A couple beers in, we're both yawning. The conversation starts to dry up. We're now talking the ceiling fixtures. Talking about lamps hanging from the ceiling is a sign we're both starting to space out. I'm also getting tweets from my comedian guy friends, who know I'm on a date. All of a sudden, I wish I was with them.
I head to my date. I warn him I look like a dirtbag. Pink Jack Daniel's shirt, jeans and Toms. I'm wearing a padded bra, so boobs are not to scale. I notice he's getting texts from a phone number that doesn't have a contact name. They seem to be coming in quite rapidly. I call it out: "Haha! You're getting messages from another Tinder, aren't you?" He denies it. I'm not buying it.
"We're the same age, aren't we? You're 27?" He says. UH-OH! "Um... no, actually...I think I'm a little older," I spit out, along with a laugh that sounds like I might be choking. "Really? How old are you?" all of a sudden, I'm feeling a little cougary. So I suggest a place that's good to take a younger man.
Women, take a deep breath. Sexual nirvana, the latest elixir in a bottle, has arrived. Enter Lybrido. The makers of Lybrido, ironically called Emotional Brain, are cynically cashing in on our insecurities as women. Lybrido might help but make no mistake -- another pill to pop does not replace the old-fashioned virtues of respect, love and affection, all of which were contained in the erstwhile activity called courtship.
As a couples' mediator, I see many women who have stopped having fun in their relationships. This year, I'm going back a couple thousand years to excavate some ancient advice from history's most cunning women, such as Cleopatra. How'd she do it? If it worked for the Queen of Egypt in 41 BC, it may work for you in 2013 AD.