This Netflix cleanse was obviously not on purpose and I don't advocate it for everyone. But by forcing myself to be alone and engage in activities that I like such as organizing and chatting on the phone I was allowing myself to be with my thoughts and be present in the moment. It was kind of awesome.
Autism has a bad rap with families and marriages. Pulling them apart. The stress, the constant worrying, the lack of time with your spouse and other children. The focus becomes your affected child and there is no time for you and forget about your partner. I thought my marriage was strong. It wasn't strong enough.
We spent our 19th wedding anniversary very much like we do every other day. Since that day and for almost two weeks, I have been contemplating the idea of a list. A list of 19 characteristics essential to a flourishing marriage. Without further ado, here are those nearly twenty. Because 19 is actually enough.
We've had our share of faults and bad habits that we brought into this relationship. We've both done and said things we wish we could take back. And even though we've now found a groove as parents, there were months, years, where all of our existing problems bubbled to the surface under the pressures of having kids.
The media likes us to think that the perfect body, both male and female, is what we want to hold forever, but I'd like to disagree. I'd like to watch time take its toll and hear the words "I love you" with the same sincerity that was spoken when I was once young and beautiful. There is something in this that means so much more than the superficial joy of having someone frozen in perfection.
Like most couples, we have certain labels we've come to own over time. I, for example, am the visionary, the queen of creative chaos. I bring fire, optimism and 10 ideas a minute to each conversation. Meanwhile, Pat is producer, the king of structure. He is organized, dependable, a genius at follow through.
I was afraid to tell my husband. I was equal parts afraid to be accused of cheating or learn he had, even though logic assured me otherwise. I thought of not saying anything. I envisioned stashing my pills in the inner pocket of my handbag, making excuses to avoid sex. While it sucks to have herpes, it's not a death sentence. If you ever have to deliver this kind of news to a partner, don't do what I did and treat it like the end of the world.
My husband is my greatest fan in life. He is constantly encouraging me to chase my dreams, pushing me to face my weaknesses. He inspires me; he balances me. He supports me in everything I do. When you have someone standing beside you, ready to nudge you forward and catch you when you fall, it feels like anything is possible. I'm 27 now, and I still have a lot to learn about married life. But I already know the choice to wed my husband was the greatest decision I've made so far. Being a wife has changed my life in ways I hadn't ever considered.
We were university students focusing on our education and far from looking for a relationship. Everything was different about us -- culture, language, colour, behaviour, goals. From our first encounter he anticipated the likeliness of his parents preferring to find him a Tamil wife. But life is full of surprises.
There are times when one or both partners are simply having a good time, enjoying the dating arrangement. It allows them to enjoy themselves and go out on an easy-going, not really committed level, all while they've got a close friend at their side. Regrettably when one partner ends up being more involved than the other, it can result in problems.