I've always been an advocate for speaking openly about sex and masturbation. I make a point in asking my friends (and mother) who are in long term relationships about their sex lives, partnered or solo. The singles are more likely to offer information, but I'll pester them every once and a while anyways.
Despite what porn and Hollywood lead us to believe, women's erotic networks of nerve endings, erogenous zones, and pleasure options are more complicated than for penises. While erotic hotspots and pleasure techniques in men are generally more universal and consistently popular, the sources of arousal and pleasure in women are more varied from person-to-person.
Farrah Marfatia, principal of the Maingate Islamic Academy in Mississauga, has written a guide, "How to talk to your Muslim child about topics in the Ontario Ministry of Education's Health Education Curriculum, 2015." She believes that from her "Islamic" perspective the curriculum is not age appropriate and is concerned about "how" she would teach it to her own children.
We really need to ask ourselves why masturbation is still the ugly cousin hiding in the sexual closet? That is, self-pleasuring is really great to do, just so long as we do not talk about it and no one finds out. Perhaps as people start to realize how many people are doing it, it will not be such a big deal to talk about.
You've just woken up from a deep sleep and then remember that you've been romping all night with the Sandman who may also happen to be your Ex. That's when the WTF moment kicks in. Sex dreams happen to everyone. Sometimes they are as pleasurable as riding white horses in the meadow with George Clooney or getting naughty with Mila Kunis' legs wrapped around your waist.
A longer lasting solution for pumping up your sexual 'oomph' comes from a different type of sexual variety. By changing the how instead of the who, we can open a world of sexual pleasure for a lifetime. By fighting against your body's natural habit of getting locked in to one method of pleasure, you can train yourself to enjoy a much wider variety of sensations and situations.
By the time this couple came to talk to me, they were in a pretty bad sexual rut. They had been married for 15 years and had two teenage kids. Both were masturbating almost daily, at about the same time in the evening without their partner knowing. To top it off, neither wanted the other to know what they were up to because they were too ashamed of their behavior.
There's myriad ideologies that stop women from having a healthy relationship with their privates including: negative socialization, lack of education and exposure when young, stigma when admitting they masturbate, and the list goes on and on. Bottom line: until the average gal can have a positive relationship with her vulva, enjoying sex to the maximum will probably be out of her grasp.
For over a hundred years, sex researchers, feminists and pop culture have been enmeshed in an ongoing debate as to which is superior: the vaginal or clitoral orgasm. Regrettably, their high-brow ponderings have left the average gal in their wake wondering whether her orgasm is either real or even the best one.