I suppose it is a given that we want our little girls to be polite, kind and respectful, but don't we want the same for our sons?
I pray to God that I gave to you even a fraction of what you've given me. But now I will give you the most difficult thing I will ever have to give.
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Certified Doula, Meaghan Grant gives her thoughts on disregarding other people’s parenting expectations and shares her struggle with postpartum depression.
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If you've grown up with parents who overprotected you, did too much for you, and made you feel like everything was coming to you, you're going to be at an even greater disadvantage than the average graduate in today's marketplace. These helicopter parents love their kids but they're doing them a terrible disservice, as their kids are coming out of college and university lacking the basic skills and mindset that will set them up for success.
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There's an incredibly interesting thing that happens to a parent when our children reaches the age to move away and go to college/university. All of a sudden you're thrust into this new phase of life, surprisingly unprepared, even though you knew that it was coming eventually.
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I was certain something was going to take her away from me, that my time with her was limited. My fear made us prisoner to our home, our safe space. I wanted to run with her to keep her from everyone and anything that could harm her. Going to the grocery store was no longer a chore, it appeared life-threatening.
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It's crazy to expect a new mother with postpartum depression (PPD) to attend regular therapy sessions. That's if she can get access to therapy at all what with the ongoing shortage of psychiatrists and psychotherapists across Canada and the U.S.
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Did they finally realize what I've been telling them all along: that they are brothers and brothers have to get along? Did they just want to make me happy and realize getting along would be the only way to accomplish this all-important task? Do they see my siblings, friends, parents and our family doing kind things for one another? Have they seen their dad and I do kind things for each other despite our divorce? Despite being a single mom, they are seeing a lot of love from a lot of sources and it makes me so grateful and proud.
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Breasts are sexualised at every turn. They bounce up and down reality television shows and pageants (granted, more often than not, the ones we see don't move), adorn magazine covers, sell lingerie to make bedroom fantasies come true and yet are still publicly rejected, shamed, and bullied when openly exposed in their most natural of states. I often wonder how we made it to the overly advertised earth of the 21st century and still can't publicly display our babies' favourite place to grab a quick snack.
I want you to know that you are not alone. Through your grief and pain and loss you have joined the club that no one wants to be a part of. But the most astonishing thing is that this club is made up of some of the most powerful, compassionate, and inspiring women.
Birth and postpartum mental health issues don't get the attention they deserve, says Meaghan Grant. We don't talk about the pressure to meet expectations or the fact that other people's opinions impact the way we parent and the way we view ourselves as parents.
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My daughter once said to me, "even if you were not my mom, you would still be my role model." Beyond a doubt, this was the best compliment I could ever receive. Throughout my life, I have been asked many times if I personally have a role model. My answer to this is simple: my mother.
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"When do I call myself a stepmom?" "When do I show up for events?" "When do I get involved in logistics and planning?" When do I... when do I... when do I? Questions that all went unanswered, as I had nobody to ask. Without fail, one of the big ones came up each year up in time for Mother's Day.
These are the moms who have outlived their children. They are mothers without official titles and have concocted clever ways to answer, "how many children do you have?" when asked by well meaning folk. These mothers cling to old memories, photo albums and painful frequent visits to cemeteries.