Forget the mommy wars. Companies pit us against each other and sell more products. Once we realize that mommy wars don't exist and that we are all actually just trying to do whatever works best for us we can focus on talking about our differences and opening ourselves up to what others are doing and have to say.
I could have been there. My son could have giggled for/at David. I don't know. I was yet another harried/perfect professional mum, holding it all together. Prioritizing naps over adult conversation, breastfeeding over tantrums, parenting over intellectual rigour. It would have been fine -- my kids would have been fine -- had I stayed that day.
I desperately searched the surroundings but she had vanished. 'Someone took my child' was all I said when I dialled 911. Rescue crews were already curbside, when my neighbour saw a bright pink jacket floating in the water, he found my daughter, pulled her out of a pond in the nearby golf course our house backs onto.
So...let's talk about one of the best kept secrets that the parenting advice books will never touch: the art of pulling "the casserole card." That's when I compile all the gross leftovers. If I was to serve this delectable delight on a night other than which we were about to have the TIME OF OUR LIVES, it certainly would not fly. However, all this changes when we are about to embark on an EXCITING adventure.
A recent tweet caused me to reflectively ponder my parenting skills (or lack thereof), and to ask myself: What evidence is there to prove my adequacy for this profound responsibility we call parenting? So here they are. Ten evidences that I have actually "parented" in the last 24 hours...in descending order.
That moment when you look at your hands, at your feet; and they look...old. When you look at your body and it seems flabby. When you look at your eyes, and they seem tired. That, my dear Mama, is the moment you realize. That being a mother is the hardest gig you've ever had to do. Harder than anything. Keep on keeping on, soldiers.
On October 25, Marina Krim returned from taking her three-year-old daughter to the pool, to find her other two children -- Lulu and Leo -- stabbed to death in the bathtub of the family apartment in the Upper West Side. The nanny has since been charged with the murders. Many Internet responses have focused on mother-blaming, and especially on the mother's part-time labour outside the home. The father's labour is not discussed, just as his parenting skills are not criticized. This is misogynist victim-blaming. Cyberbullying has politics and here they revolve around contempt for women.
Being a mother is just part of a woman's persona, not the be all and end all of a woman's life. Mothers need not check their goals, dreams and aspirations at the hospital door when they go to deliver. And for one to suggest that you might have days where you'd rather not be around your children -- and actually admit it out loud -- is okay. Most importantly, moms don't always have to like the job of being a mother. Because quite frankly, many don't.