Adopting a healthier lifestyle is an active process; no one can force anyone else -- no matter how much they love them -- to adopt a healthier lifestyle. Your loved one has to be at least interested in having the "health conversation." Health is a process, and in order for long-term changes to occur, the person must want to -- and be ready to -- be part of the process... The million-dollar question becomes, how do you support a loved one's journey to become fit, without them feeling judged, belittled, and criticized?
Helping people is not only about listening and talking through life issues. It's also about helping them recognize internal strengths, and garner their own psychological resources so they can navigate obstacles inherent in life. This facilitates greater quality of life, more enjoyment, less fear, even joy.
It wasn't until I attended college that I realized depression wasn't just being sad all the time. As I began to realize and track my symptoms, I learned that my most intense symptom is lack of motivation. When my depression hits, there's no such thing as motivation anymore. It's instant, and I do not get a say. My class attendance drops, homework will sit undone for days, and deadlines will be missed.
Get rid of your destructive internal dialogue. You wouldn't let your best friend or child talk badly about their body and self-worth; why is it okay for you to berate yourself? Obviously be honest. Don't tell yourself you are making healthy choices if you're not, but don't metaphorically flog yourself with unproductive self-hate.
Can I ask you a personal question? Are you settling? In your love life, are you settling for something that is okay rather than striving for something that is extraordinary? Have you ever, in the stillness of a date night or on the morning of New Year's day gotten a glimpse of the truth? The truth that maybe you don't love him the way he deserves to be loved, that he doesn't love you the way you deserve to be loved?
If you find your motivation waning, you might just be bored. Finding new activities or foods that you enjoy can make the difference between quitting and succeeding. Whenever you find yourself in a rut, try a new activity, take a cooking class, or recruit a workout partner. If it's been a few months, it may even be time to set a new goal!
We all have the choice to give up or tackle our challenge. There are many different challenges we will all face in our lives. I hope that my story of the biggest challenge I've faced so far, and my decision to push forward everyday will inspire you to also make the choice to tackle any challenge you face.
I wish I had followed this advice years ago; it would have given me a huge headstart on my pursuit of happiness. But I know it now, and I'm passing it on to you. After many years as a psychologist committed to making New Yorkers' lives happier, I've arrived at the conclusion that the single best piece of advice for finding greater happiness
Simply put, sports has a way of connecting people. When you throw on your team colours, you're no longer a Sikh, Jew, Christian, White, or Black. You're simply a fan. And the only thing that matters in that moment is realizing the dream of seeing your team lift up the trophy one day and host a parade on your home streets.
Internally, the inner warrior is the part of you that recognizes and rejects any negative self-talk. In the world, the inner warrior looks out for you and identifies who's friendly and who's a potential threat. When you embody this warrior part of the psyche, it enables you to stand up for yourself any time you need to and walk away from a bad situation any time you have to.
People often ask me what the most difficult part of the Man In Motion World Tour was. When I look back, it wasn't the physical toll, braving the sometimes-punishing weather, or even when my future wife Amanda threw her salad at me and almost left the tour because I was acting like a jerk. Honestly, the most difficult part of the tour was just starting on that first day - March 21, 1985.