All the reasons, all the excuses, all the times I've said "I've been busy" -- they all amounted to the same thing. I was absolutely petrified of getting back behind the wheel. The thought made me feel physically sick. But I'd had enough of avoiding the issue and pretending it wasn't there. It was time wave goodbye to that elephant once and for all.
The enthusiasm requirement is a biggie, because excitement is infectious. Cheerleaders can get worn out just like the adventurer they're supporting. When you've been whining for two weeks straight or copping out on doing what you've got to do to make it happen, they need to be so keen on your success that they'll keep pushing you right on through it.
You really, really want to quit your job, go live in Paris, take up belly dancing, dye your hair pink, or jump out of an airplane (with a parachute). But you can't because...Whatever you've been dreaming of but not actually doing, chances are you've got some really solid reasons why. Which would be fine if they were actually true.
You know the feeling. Sweaty palms, heart pounding out of your chest and legs trembling with all the quivering of a seismic event. Whether you're afraid of asking your boss for a raise or you're just about to give a huge presentation, it feels exactly the same. And it sucks, doesn't it? Here are some steps to help navigate the choppy and often inhospitable waters of fear.
Saturday, I continued on my quest to be a normal young person in the city. After having a nice visit with some of my family, I took a lovely walk through my neighbourhood and around the park and surrounding area. My feet ached from wearing terrible sandals. A regular person kind of ache. Not a cancer ache.
For as long as I can remember, I have been an obsessive planner. I love to make plans, to organize, to prepare. And I'm quite good at it, too. Long-term goals, schedules. These are things I like. A fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants girl, I am not. With my cancer diagnosis, a lot of things came crashing down around me.
My name is Meg, and I have been riding a roller-coaster ride of emotional upheaval, life-changing experiences and personal development for a few years now. I was bankrupt, unemployed, and depressed. My father was ill with frontotemporal dementia and ALS. My fiancé and I had called off our wedding less than four months before the big day. But I persevered. Now I am using my experience to share with others.
I'm patiently awaiting my launch onto the Pacific, on a solo 3,100 mile, 45-65 day odyssey from the San Francisco Bay Area to Hawaii. Am I afraid of what I will face out on the Pacific Ocean, alone, up to 50-foot waves, potentially being run over at night by large ships, in a tiny kayak? Of course! But it's called F.E.A.R. -- Forget Everything And Relax!