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I guess one could say that my professional background makes me well qualified for this parenting job, but I must admit that I have had my fair share of humbling moments when it comes to parenting. Sometimes I have moments when I feel I rock it as a parent, and then other moments when I hang my head and know I could have handled something much better. Yes, there is certainly room for improvement.
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Maybe you have time to scour Pinterest for healthy recipes and beautiful home decor. I do not. And let's be honest, even if I did, I'm too lazy to waste valuable free time "working" at home management. I'd much rather binge watch The Walking Dead while binge eating Reese's Cups.
My mother is visiting this week. Last night, after putting my son to bed, I lowered my pregnant self onto the sofa and revved up the DVR. Mom said she didn't care what we watched. So I clicked on the newest episode of AMC's "The Walking Dead." As the credits rolled, she stared at me in horror. "This is your favorite show? Isn't it about, like, zombies? How could you possibly relate to or enjoy a show about zombies?" Quite easily, in fact.
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As much as we want to sit and communicate with our spawns of Satan, to talk it out, to discuss the situation calmly and rationally, they will stare blankly over your head, at the wall behind you, at the fly on the window and then insist they were listening. Ask them to repeat back what you just said and it's instant amnesia.
There may not have been the stress of wondering about first kisses at the end, but I found I had to carefully navigate other potentially sensitive obstacles, like joking about Calliou being sent up to Netflix from the seventh circle of hell. In other words, I learned first play dates didn't differ all that much from first dates.
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Typical milestones are not the ones I celebrate with excited texts to my husband and best friends, or give my kids gleeful celebratory hugs over. In my own experience -- and I think that four kids under the age of seven counts as experience -- these are the baby and childhood milestones that are really worth celebrating.
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With a toddler running around my house these days, I find myself looking back over the years and thinking of all I've learned in my four-plus decades on this planet. Since I turned 40, I've started making lists I can maybe pass her way one day. Here's 42 things I've learned at 42.
Being a mom is a hard job and it is one that you have for life. The ups and downs are challenging enough and on top of that you have to deal with unsolicited advice and some very rude questions from "well-meaning" strangers.
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Baby C is getting closer and closer to hitting his first birthday. I can't believe it, and because I know this is my last child, I'm feeling a little bittersweet. There are plenty of things I know I will not miss about the baby stage, but when I stop to think about them, I have to admit that I'll miss them, in their own way.
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Not too long ago, a fellow writer wrote a beautiful, touching piece called, "Today, Mommy is Sad." It made me tear up, because it took me back to when I was pregnant for the second time and struggling to deal with my conflicting emotions. Today is a different story. Today, Mommy is an asshole.
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The Threenager has two favourites to pick: the skin around her fingers and, of course, her nose. What kid doesn't like to pick his nose? About a year ago, I decided I would try a different tactic with trying to stop the nose picking...
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We don't always know why our kidlets are about to lose their minds, but if we know what's coming, we can at least batten down the hatches and weather the coming storm, instead of getting drenched with nary an umbrella in sight.
If your child is anything like mine, he can sleep through the apocalypse, once he's deep in sleep. Seriously, 15 minutes into a nap, the fire brigade could pull up in front of our house with sirens wailing, and he wouldn't do anything more than sigh deeply and roll to one side. However, falling asleep requires a special kind of silent juju that I still haven't got straight, after two kids.
I sometimes wonder if I was properly prepared for having five kids, four of whom are little boys. After all, no one handed me the instructions manual that explained what makes boys tick! So, I've decided to write the Cole's Notes version, just for you! Share it if you know someone who also never received the manual!