My mother is visiting this week. Last night, after putting my son to bed, I lowered my pregnant self onto the sofa and revved up the DVR. Mom said she didn't care what we watched. So I clicked on the newest episode of AMC's "The Walking Dead." As the credits rolled, she stared at me in horror. "This is your favorite show? Isn't it about, like, zombies? How could you possibly relate to or enjoy a show about zombies?" Quite easily, in fact.
As much as we want to sit and communicate with our spawns of Satan, to talk it out, to discuss the situation calmly and rationally, they will stare blankly over your head, at the wall behind you, at the fly on the window and then insist they were listening. Ask them to repeat back what you just said and it's instant amnesia.
There may not have been the stress of wondering about first kisses at the end, but I found I had to carefully navigate other potentially sensitive obstacles, like joking about Calliou being sent up to Netflix from the seventh circle of hell. In other words, I learned first play dates didn't differ all that much from first dates.
Typical milestones are not the ones I celebrate with excited texts to my husband and best friends, or give my kids gleeful celebratory hugs over. In my own experience -- and I think that four kids under the age of seven counts as experience -- these are the baby and childhood milestones that are really worth celebrating.
Baby C is getting closer and closer to hitting his first birthday. I can't believe it, and because I know this is my last child, I'm feeling a little bittersweet. There are plenty of things I know I will not miss about the baby stage, but when I stop to think about them, I have to admit that I'll miss them, in their own way.
If your child is anything like mine, he can sleep through the apocalypse, once he's deep in sleep. Seriously, 15 minutes into a nap, the fire brigade could pull up in front of our house with sirens wailing, and he wouldn't do anything more than sigh deeply and roll to one side. However, falling asleep requires a special kind of silent juju that I still haven't got straight, after two kids.
I sometimes wonder if I was properly prepared for having five kids, four of whom are little boys. After all, no one handed me the instructions manual that explained what makes boys tick! So, I've decided to write the Cole's Notes version, just for you! Share it if you know someone who also never received the manual!