People, not parents, struggle to find the time and energy to do the things they know they should. Anyhow, it struck me that there are some things I can (and will!) blame my children for, cheerfully, and some things that I resolve I will not blame them for. I want them to know I can prioritise what's important for my own wellbeing, so that they can learn from me.
After the initial shock of Junior Child moving back home we started to realize that this situation was not so bad. Our individual lives, which had expanded to include activities and friends that were not possible during the child rearing years, were not curtailed. We started to enjoy the company of our adult daughter and were able to offer help with cover letters and resume writing.
If your child is bored they may want to pick up a book and read, or develop a new board game or even watch 17 episodes of Star Trek on Netflix. Some of these might be more creative than others, but all of them require self-reliance and will bring some new information to your child. Maybe they will daydream, and who knows what gifts those daydreams to our future.
As a society, we really need to stop pulling out the bully card with such ease and lack of thought to its meaning. More so as mothers, we really need to stop overusing it, labelling each other as one when we don't like what another mother has said. Otherwise, the word and definition will lose all meaning, giving real bullies power to carry on.
I understand baby M's preference for her brothers' toys and enjoy watching her play with them. I was a tomboy as a child and I secretly like that she seems to be one as well. However, I think my expectations of seeing her playing quietly with what Toys "R" Us would deem "girl toys" is definitely changing
She would get a quality education in any of these places, to be sure. And she would learn about navigating life independent of her parents, whether she is in residence in Hamilton or Kingston or Fredericton. But would she experience a new culture in Kitchener-Waterloo? Would life be so much different in Eastern Ontario than it is here in Niagara?
I don't know how to teach my daughters that they have to follow arbitrary rules about their bodies, rules that will change based on current fashion, the people they socialize with, the media they consume. I don't know how to teach my daughters to sift through the shit that society decrees about their bodies.
Tears in my eyes, I looked up from my nursing chair at The Hubster, who had our hungry newborn daughter in his arms. I felt like I was trapped in a cruel science experiment to determine how much nipple pain an exhausted new mother could take in two hour intervals before she cracked. Expectant first-time moms: Breastfeeding is hard.
Different-sex parents, apparently, have a few things to learn about how to run a household from same-sex parents. New evidence concludes that because same-sex couples allocate household chores based on each individual parent's suitability for the job, rather than on gender stereotypes, children from those homes are growing up in happier and more harmonious family environments.
As an adolescent psychiatrist, I've treated countless patients who have achieved their cherished external goals, such as acceptance into a dance academy, sports team, or college of "their choice"-- but whose lives are utterly devoid of internal joy. Your role as a parent has a major impact on your child's understanding of the word gratitude.
Once you let go of the expectations of having a perfect family holiday you can really begin to enjoy the opportunities for building deeper connections that are right in front of you. So the kids work through their backseat sibling issues and have fun exploring the new locations. And despite the sand flies the beach was great.