Dolphin parents are not authoritarian pushing parents or hovering Tiger parents (who stifle internal motivation) nor are we permissive spineless Jellyfish (who fail to cultivate impulse control), we recognize we are authority figures and use guidance, role modelling, and a balanced lifestyle to ensure the development of internal motivation, impulse control, and independence.
There are simply not enough hours in the day for parents of children with developmental challenges to manage the complicated care needs of their sons and daughters. There are a number of ways in which "the system" can work well to support better outcomes for families dealing with developmental challenges.
I could have been there. My son could have giggled for/at David. I don't know. I was yet another harried/perfect professional mum, holding it all together. Prioritizing naps over adult conversation, breastfeeding over tantrums, parenting over intellectual rigour. It would have been fine -- my kids would have been fine -- had I stayed that day.
Many moms are wakened on Mother's Day by an ominous clattering in the kitchen: your loving-hearted children preparing to surprise you with coffee or hot chocolate in bed. There's also that cinnamon toast or oatmeal positively doused with sugar. What many moms don't realize is that such meals usually come courtesy of a whole crew of children.
My mom was not an over-controlling, overbearing tiger mom. Nor was she a permissive, directionless jellyfish mom. My mom was the balance of these extremes and was firm yet flexible. She had rules and expectations -- including clearly expecting us to do well in academics with respectful behaviour. Yet, she also valued our freedom to be kids, individual passions, and independent choices.
Last month, it was reported that an Edmonton woman was badly beaten by her spouse. Though the attack put her in the hospital, the police offered a silver lining by stating that her unborn baby, at least, wasn't harmed. Sadly, this claim underestimates the profound effect severe stress can have on children's development in their first years of life, including while they're still in the womb.
Well, we've been having some interesting family discussions over dinner recently. Topics have included: marijuana, driver reaction time after consuming alcohol, how nicotine stains your fingers; the intense pain caused by Tasering; bras and body hair. One night, we even examined diagrams of male and female reproductive organs.
Here's what I have to say for those who worry their daughters might turn into princesses, as in helpless silly females who value the superficial only and have no problem-solving skills. Just don't be a princess yourself. Be assertive. Gain control over your emotions. Display strength and courage and resilience. Don't read women's magazines.
I'll be the first to admit that kids are time-sucks. They can literally consume every waking second you have by demanding all of your attention. And if you have more than one and they're young, good luck trying to "nap when the baby naps." What if they're on different nap schedules? What if that's the only time you get to have a shower or eat something that requires both hands?
Irate mommies chastise Rebecca Eckler for relying on nannies, encouraging Rowan to ditch school, outsourcing Rowan's bike lessons, and for avoiding changing Holt's smelly diapers for months. What these mommies don't get is that at the core of Eckler's unconventional parenting, is her extreme love for and devotion to her children.
Start with displaying some empathy for your child -- which means putting yourself in your kid's shoes. Let them know you understand how they feel and you are not mad or disappointed in them for being shy. Perhaps state something like, "When I was a kid, I was shy too. I remember sometimes it was no fun and got in the way of things I wanted to do. Sometimes I even get shy now."
Apparently, I'm a victim of child abuse. And a child abuser. How did that escape me? At least I might be, if you believe a new study that redefines what it means to be abused -- and an abuser. I can tell you for certain is each of the times I used corporal punishment, it was in those moments that I failed most as a parent. But does that make me an abuser?
Bruce and Lynn drove to their youngest daughter Emily's school to tell her that her brother had died by suicide. They next drove to London to pick up their other daughter, Aimee from university. Their cries filled the car along the highway. Lynn climbed in the backseat to hold Emily in her arms. At first, Aimee did not believe the news but slowly came to understand.
Given the state of the world and the tasks of the next generation, our survival depends on how we parent our children right now. We need to focus on the values we are encouraging for our children, and questioning whether or not our individual actions are helping our kids become the environmental stewards the world desperately needs.
It wasn't always this way. My oldest was shocked to discover that all Laura Ingalls got for Christmas one year was a rag doll, an orange, a piece of candy and some socks. My daughters' eyes pop out of their heads when their Granny tells them that when she was a little girl, Santa brought an apple, an orange and one toy for each child in her large family.
It happens to everyone as we get older. Either you have kids or your friends have kids. But the one factor that a lot of people seem to forget is that children aren't for everyone. That doesn't mean your friendships are doomed. There are actually a few tricks you can do to look like a hero to your parenting friends, with limited child-you interaction.
Even though mothers are anxious to see their child latching well and feeding on the breast, to know that their particular experience is occurring in most every room on the ward, does help somewhat to dispel the belief that they have done something wrong, that there is something wrong with them, and/or that their baby will never breastfeed.
We've been trapped inside by icy concussion-inducing, deathtrap snow. I'm like a bear in hibernation, except I'm adding to my fat rather than living off it. I feel like I'm in some kind of dreary winter-induced coma. My youngest didn't wear socks to daycare during the last snowstorm, and I didn't even notice.