Kindness matters, I know this, I coach this, I speak about the power of kindness, and yet -- in my primary relationship (you know, that relationship with my husband), being kind seems to be in a wrestling match with being right. Being right just feels so good. It is a lustful emotion, an instinctual one, a need that can be sort of addiction.
The voice in your head so badly wants to be the all-knowing wizard that it labels, judges, exaggerates and takes things personally, all in an effort to control. Labeling and judging people and circumstances makes us feel as though we have a handle on them and so the voice obliges, evaluating, slotting and categorizing.
Of all the stresses we experience in life, a breakup is one of the worst. It shakes the foundation of your life at its core and shatters the world that you once knew, wreaking havoc on your mental and physical health. There's a reason they call it heartache! As painful as a breakup is, it can also be a time for learning and growth, opening up a new world of possibilities ... even new love.
Research shows that romance is a powerful and an important ingredient in one's life. In fact, brain scans show that men are activated by romance as strongly as women, indicating that romance applies to BOTH sexes. Surprised? If you are, it's because when it comes to romance, society views women as addicts and men as immune.
Cultivating a gratuitous and appreciative attitude can be advantageous in almost any situation. People with a positive disposition tend to cope more efficiently and constructively with life's daily challenges. It's like they are getting a boost from a source deep within that gives them greater strength and resilience.
Some people are born optimists and some people are born pessimists. Fortunately, that doesn't mean you can't change and become more optimistic. Although the world these days seems to encourage pessimism, it doesn't mean you have to be that way, and it doesn't mean you have to stay that way if you are already pessimistic by nature.
As we go through life, we are often told to open ourselves up to opportunities, to not limit ourselves, to say "yes" to new experiences, to meeting new people and to stepping out of our comfort zone. People tell us that there's joy in abundance and that it's good to have it all. But there's power in saying "no."
The reality is that rebounding and finding your mojo once more after a significant setback, failure or loss involves a lot more than simply "shaking it off" no matter what Taylor Swift says. It takes some essential and necessary stages and actions that if missed will keep you stuck, and stop you from learning and growing from the experience, which no matter how unpleasant is a rich opportunity for personal growth.