Rape

A Letter to My Son About Jian Ghomeshi

Robin Farr | Posted 11.19.2014 | Canada Alberta
Robin Farr

This letter was written by my husband and he has agreed to let me share it here. I hope it inspires you as much as it inspires me. One of the first girls I dated had been raped by a past boyfriend. She went to court and wasn't able to prove that he did anything they hadn't consented to, so he wasn't punished. At the time, she lived in a small town and the gossip forced her family to move away. Before her, I don't think I was really that aware of rape or consent. I'm sure that I'd had the "no means no" conversation in health class but until her it didn't really mean that much to me.

Disbelief Is Rape Culture's Strongest Ally

Olivia Collette | Posted 11.11.2014 | Canada Living
Olivia Collette

It's normal that we don't want to believe the absolute worst about ourselves, but until we come to terms with how we create and participate in what we are, we can't possibly expect to correct any injustices.

#BeenRapedNeverReported Should Be About Solutions, Not Gender

Jean-Paul Bedard | Posted 11.07.2014 | Canada Living
Jean-Paul Bedard

I feel guilty in some weird way for entering into this debate that has been eye-opening for so many people, as it sheds light on how many female victims of sexual assault are among us. As a man, and as a survivor of rape myself, I worry that adding my voice to this might in some way usurp or direct the conversation away from highlighting the abuse of women in our society. But part of me thinks that this shouldn't be a debate about men or women, but rather, it should be about creating a culture in which stepping forward and disclosing sexual assault becomes a much more supportive and empowering experience.

What Does Counselling Look Like After Sexual Assault?

The Huffington Post Canada | Rebecca Zamon | Posted 11.06.2014 | Canada Living

Trigger warning: This article contains information about violence which may be triggering to survivors. What help is there for survivors of sexual ...

Sexual Freedom Is No Excuse for Sexual Assault

Marina Adshade | Posted 11.05.2014 | Canada Living
Marina Adshade

For many years, I have wondered what might be the limit of our tolerance for sexual freedoms. I have no doubt that that tolerance ends when those sexual freedoms infringe on the dominion, to use Ghomeshi's word, of one's own body. Given how difficult it is to determine when that is the case, or is not the case, however, I suspect we will be hearing many more stories of "poor persecuted perverts."

How to Discuss Sexual Assault With Survivors in Mind

Jodie Layne | Posted 10.27.2014 | Canada Living
Jodie Layne

As a survivor of sexual assault and an advocate for people who have been assaulted, I'm already shaking at how I feel this, and the discourse around it, is going to play out. As with any public or private allegations of sexual assault, it's important to remember these things when talking about Jian Ghomeshi in the coming weeks.

A Man's Guide To Handling Conversations About Consent

Anne T. Donahue | Posted 10.27.2014 | Canada Living
Anne T. Donahue

My friend and I were telling her boyfriend a few weeks ago about being harassed in places like the grocery store, the mall, on the street, in the bank, at a restaurant, etc. etc. etc. and he was horrified. This is because he is a good person who's never thought about doing that to another person. Then I asked, "Well, what do you do when your friend catcalls someone?" and he said he gets very embarrassed. But he didn't tell the guy to stop.

For Raping a Little Girl, Five Years in Prison Isn't Enough

Anne Theriault | Posted 11.09.2014 | Canada Politics
Anne Theriault

I'm sorry, I didn't realize that a person required a previous criminal record in order to receive adequate sentencing for years of abuse and rape of a minor. This story has received almost no attention. A friend of mine in Halifax tried to contact the national media, but they just took her name and number and said they would call her back. They never called her back. They either just weren't interested or else felt that it was too contentious -- but given the high-profile treatment other rape cases have received in the media, the latter doesn't seem very likely, does it?

Many Things in Life Are Grey, But Rape Is Black and White

Lauren Messervey | Posted 08.29.2014 | Canada Living
Lauren Messervey

If a woman says "no" to you, you are a rapist. If at any point during sexual contact she says "no," you are a rapist. If the woman expresses a desire for you to stop in any way, including words such as "this is not OK," you are a rapist. If the woman is too far under the influence to verbally give consent to a sexual act, you are a rapist. There is no colour in these rules. These are the black and the white.

Laws Don't Rape Women. Men Do

Michelle Brock | Posted 08.23.2014 | Canada Politics
Michelle Brock

While some women would no doubt make plenty of money by running escort services or choosing a few well-paying clients, the majority of those in prostitution do not have that kind of relative bargaining power. And considering that we share a border with the U.S., not only will decriminalization lead to increased demand from Canadian citizens, but also from our southern neighbours.

Pray for the Kidnapped Nigerian Schoolgirls

Debbie Wolfe | Posted 07.10.2014 | Canada
Debbie Wolfe

With every day that passes, the Nigerian schoolgirls could be moving further into dangerous territory of all kinds. Exploitation like the kinds they may be facing can have intensely disturbing effects on a child's social, emotional cognitive and spiritual well-being -- as well as their long-term development.

It's Been One Year to the Day Since I Last Saw Rehtaeh Alive

Glen Canning | Posted 06.02.2014 | Canada Living
Glen Canning

Today marks one year since I last saw my daughter Rehtaeh alive. The last time we spoke, the last good bye, and the last "I love you." She got out of my car and walked into her mom's house. On the way home she asked if we could stop at McDonald's. How I wish we did, one last time. Rae passed away April 7, 2013. It's been a year-long nightmare but I try to keep hold of myself. Now that I'm outspoken about our daughter's struggles I've unfortunately attracted the attention of the worst society has to offer. They send messages reminding me Rehtaeh is "worm food," she's dead because I failed as a father. But it's mainly through talking that I've learned the difference Rehtaeh made and the impact she's had on others.

Miss World Becomes Rare Public Face Of Sexual Assault

CP | Aron Heller, The Associated Press | Posted 05.21.2014 | Canada Impact

NETANYA, Israel - When 18-year-old Israeli beauty queen Linor Abargil was crowned Miss World in 1998, the tears streaming down her cheeks appeared to ...

A "Rape Culture" Tutorial for the Naysayers

Toula Drimonis | Posted 05.06.2014 | Canada Living
Toula Drimonis

First off, and since International Women's Day is around the corner, can we take a minute to define 'rape culture' for those who seem to think it's an irrational and highly charged blanket statement that seeks to vilify all men for all sins? Even men who consider themselves feminists don't often get it, because they too come from a place of unconscious privilege.

Men Should Stand Up to Rapists, Not Befriend Them

Glen Canning | Posted 04.27.2014 | Canada
Glen Canning

Rapists rely on other men to excuse and justify their crimes against women. Other men who'll laugh at their jokes, invite them to parties, play sports with them, introduce them to other women. Men who'll give them jobs, feed them, and help them blame their victims even if it's by indifference. Men, good men, need to stand up and do to rapists and their supporters what we do to child molesters. Imagine the difference it would make if a man who jokes about rape and always doubts victims entered a room to silence, whispers, stares, and looks of disgust from other men. There is no difference between a man who rapes and a man who befriends and defends him.

A Letter To Proud Men Who Think "No" Means "Yes"

Eternity E Martis | Posted 04.08.2014 | Canada Living
Eternity E Martis

Dear proud men who have taken a woman's "No" to sexual activity, touching, or intercourse as a "Yes" instead of respecting her wishes; to men who have...

How To Undermine a Rape Victim: Woody Allen Edition

Anne Theriault | Posted 04.06.2014 | Canada Living
Anne Theriault

Do not treat the victim as if they are a person with agency and thoughts and feelings. Tell yourself that it's rational and logical to want to know all sides of the story, though you never want to know the other side, the perpetrator's side, when your house is broken into or your wallet is stolen or your child is hit by a car. Tell yourself that we can never know for sure what happened and since a man's life can be destroyed by accusations of rape, it's best to err on the side of caution. Do not think about the girl whose life was destroyed when she was seven. Above all, never, ever, ever think about the ways that you might be complicit in this.

Should We Reintroduce "Rape"?

Michael Plaxton | Posted 03.26.2014 | Canada Politics
Michael Plaxton

Rob Anders, a Conservative Member of Parliament in Calgary, has announced that he will introduce a private members' bill seeking to reintroduce the crime of "rape." The proposal has met with some enthusiasm in some circles. That is not surprising. Well before the language of "rape" was excised from the Criminal Code, in 1983, the idea of collapsing all forms of non-consensual sexual touching into an all-encompassing offence of "sexual assault" was deeply controversial. One of the concerns raised is that, by restoring "rape" to the Criminal Code, other forms of sexual assault will be perceived as less significant.

Talking to My Son About #Rapeface

Sandra Hawken Diaz | Posted 01.23.2014 | Canada Living
Sandra Hawken Diaz

Last week my 12-year-old son and his friends used a term I hadn't heard before: "rape face." So we sat down to talk. He was emphatic that #rapeface wasn't actually about rape and rolled his eyes with a "mom, what's the big deal?" We need to be having these conversations with our kids and with our own peers about reclaiming words like rape if we want to start making a big deal about putting an end to rape culture.

4 Convicted In India Bus Rape Case

AP | KATY DAIGLE and SHIVANI RAWAT | Posted 11.10.2013 | Canada

NEW DELHI — An Indian court convicted four men Tuesday of the fatal gang rape of a young woman on a moving New Delhi bus, an attack that set off wav...

Hey SMU, There's No Funny in Rape

Toula Drimonis | Posted 11.06.2013 | Canada Living
Toula Drimonis

When 80 student leaders (both men and women) at Saint Mary's University stand up to chant an utterly despicable chant about non-consensual sex with minors to a group of 300 freshmen, sorry, but that's crossing the line, and I absolutely fail to see the humour in it. To casually dismiss what happened at SMU as an isolated issue with a flippant shrug of the shoulders is to negate the very real fact that we don't live in a post-feminist world, and there continues to be a very strong link between how women are perceived and the disrespect and violence actively and routinely shown to them in everyday life.

A Victory for Victims of Sexual Violence

Senator Mobina Jaffer | Posted 11.03.2013 | Canada Politics
Senator Mobina Jaffer

Over the past several years, hundreds of Kenyan girls have gone to the police in the town of Meru to report that they had been raped. The officers responded with disbelief and refused to take action. In May 2013, the girls won a striking victory. In a landmark decision, the court ordered the police to enforce the rape laws and take action against the perpetrators.

Read Rehtaeh's Story Then Tell Me My Daughter Wasn't Raped

Glen Canning | Posted 10.10.2013 | Canada
Glen Canning

I truly hope you read this with an open mind and just try to forget everything you know or think you know about this case. When you're finished you can conclude for yourself if you believe my daughter was telling the truth when she told the police she was raped.

Banning Child Porn Won't Hide it From Pedophiles

Graham Templeton | Posted 09.30.2013 | Canada Politics
Graham Templeton

Try to find some child pornography. Go on. Head to Google, or Bing, or even a porn-specific search engine, and try to devise a search string capable of returning pedophilic images or video. I'll wait. Once you're done, we'll meet back up in the next paragraph. In reacting to the story of murdering pedophile Mark Bridger, who was an avid viewer of child pornography, Cameron leapt to abandon his conservative ideals and swing the hammer of censorship without stopping to ask the single most pertinent question: How did Mark Bridger find this child pornography in the first place?

Consensual Rape and the Culture of Victim Blaming

Shannon McClennan | Posted 09.25.2013 | Canada Alberta
Shannon McClennan

This isn't the blog post I intended to write as my first contribution to Huffington Post Alberta. A lover of the arts, I wanted to be lightness and color, attempting--in my own way--to bring more much deserved attention to Calgary's burgeoning arts and culture scene. But then, things happen that derail me. Things like the 2013 Wimbledon women's champion--Marion Bartoli--being verbally assaulted online because she's "too ugly to win"(more on that later) and Marte Deborah Dalelv, of Norway, being acquitted of consensual rape following a business trip to Dubai, United Arab Emirates.