When does a wife become an Alpha Parent? When they become the person who hovers over her husband when he changes the baby's diaper or prepares a meal, just waiting for him to do something wrong -- or rather, something different than she does -- so that she can correct him, criticize him or just take over with an exasperated, "Oh, I'll do it."
The truth is, many opposite-sex friendships are sustained because of a simmering attraction between two people. If circumstances were different, they could easily be sexual partners. And they know it. This underlying current of attraction makes talking, texting and spending time together as "just friends" all the more exciting. It has an erotic edge to it.
Ever get this nagging feeling that your man is pulling away from you, but you don't know why? Your mind creates vivid images about him spending time with another woman because somewhere deep down inside you don't feel good enough for him. If this is something you're experiencing, then your man is dating an insecure woman.
Kindness matters, I know this, I coach this, I speak about the power of kindness, and yet -- in my primary relationship (you know, that relationship with my husband), being kind seems to be in a wrestling match with being right. Being right just feels so good. It is a lustful emotion, an instinctual one, a need that can be sort of addiction.
Many professionals emphasize networking and strategies to build networks, however, there is little focus on network maintenance. The best networks are the ones we can call on for support when needed. For example, are we comfortable asking for a favour from someone we spoke to once at a party a year ago? In this case, the quality of the relationship is more important than the number of contacts in the address book.
The truth is that if you're a people-pleaser, you've been using the people in your life to compensate for something that's been missing within you; you've been focused on getting others to meet a need, rather than on creating real connections. This might explain why you're not as happy as you could be, today.
Hold your own damn purse. Seriously. You chose to bring it. You probably knew where you were going. If it's a problem for you, it's a problem for you. If it's a hassle to have it, learn to not bring it. Deal.... The perfect married man acknowledges that he has been domesticated. He neither needs nor desires to have his domestication hung on him like a sign. It's your purse.
Some people are really, really nice. They're almost never angry but most always pleasant and agreeable, no matter what's going on around them. We all know at least one person like this. Maybe, you're one of them? Maybe you're someone who tries really hard to make others happy; someone who is careful not to do or say anything that might upset anyone; someone who avoids confrontation at all costs. If this sounds like you, then you're probably a People-Pleaser, and there's a reason you ended up that way.
So what's a parent to do when they realize that their child, for whatever reason, is having difficulty making or maintaining friendships? No parent wants to feel that their child is missing out or... being shunned for one reason or another... Yet, this is the reality for too many children who face rejection on a daily basis.
Whenever we meet someone, some deep part of our psyche perks up and says, "I don't know why, but this person that I just met is incredibly important and they could be the absolute key to my happiness and well-being for the rest of my life." The endorphins kick in, the toes start to tingle and pretty soon we've imagined the relationship, the marriage, the kids and the divorce before the second date.