You've just woken up from a deep sleep and then remember that you've been romping all night with the Sandman who may also happen to be your Ex. That's when the WTF moment kicks in. Sex dreams happen to everyone. Sometimes they are as pleasurable as riding white horses in the meadow with George Clooney or getting naughty with Mila Kunis' legs wrapped around your waist.
Being a good partner sometimes means renegotiating communication strategies so that the question "What's wrong?" isn't perpetually sloughed off. It sometimes means breathing through a bad few months and saying, "I accept this, I can do this, I don't have to fight it," even as you keep fighting for the relationship itself.
Over the past decade or so, I've found there are a few common pitfalls that women who want to get married inadvertently fall into, and which decrease their chances of getting married while they're still young enough to walk down the aisle without stopping for breath. One of these pitfalls is living together before marriage.
Fourteen months. Fourteen months is the time I have in my head for how long I would try to save my marriage if things started to go south (hopefully it will never come to that). But once we limp past the one year mark, I think I would rationally assess whether something has shifted so irrevocably in our relationship that it was time to take it off life support.
We put our team therapy approach into action -- three of us working with one client at the same time. Over time we've come to understand why men seem to prefer this team approach to therapy. Not only can we help navigate rough emotional terrain, and get to the root cause, but we can help translate and teach them the emotional language of their spouse.
You need to see that your partner has suffered too, not from your anger, but from the weight of his or her own actions. If you believe your partner deeply regrets his actions, knows he was wrong, and even feels he violated his own personal standards, you will feel more trusting and open to forgiveness.
If my email inbox is any indicator, it's clear that modern men and women are clueless about how to behave on a first date. If you want to attract a quality person, you need to behave like a quality person. So check out these 1940s-inspired dating tips that might bring a little timeless sophistication to your dating M.O.
My inner teen would like to offer some "don'ts" to step-parents-in-training. Let's face it. If parenting teenagers is hard work, step-parenting them is even harder. It takes a whole lot more patience, tolerance and sensitivity to get through the teenage years with kids that are not of your own making.
With our couple, Robyn feels insecure about their connectedness. She wants to feel close. So when he comes home late, she turns that into, "I'm not important. He doesn't care." She feels hurt or abandoned, and that's why she gets upset. On the other hand, Blair needs validation. His sense of identity and confidence are important.
I examined many books on the market designed to help women to attract Mr. Right. I researched lessons on how to make it past the first date, what to say and not to say, how to dress, and when and how to ration out the first kiss. The more I read and compared notes, the stronger the question became: When is it okay to stop pretending?
Since the oil boom of the 1970's, many Alberta wives have called themselves "oil patch widows" due to work rotations that require their husbands to be away for weeks or months at a stretch. It is understandable how this physical separation can lead to an emotional disconnection between two people who are often leading separate lives.
Jessie is more unconditionally loving and far less bitchy than me (even though she is technically the only real bitch in our family). For her, it's not a question of, "you scratch behind my ears, and I'll scratch behind yours". Nope, she will give unlimited affection and not expect a thing in return (although she won't say no to a liver treat).
I recently saw a man in my office who asked me why all the women he dated turned out to be "crazy." If all the women you date eventually go off the deep end, perhaps it's time to tune-up your relationship skills. To some extent, I had to agree -- there are some lipsticked loonies out there. Then again, the male gender has its share of jerks and mama's boys. Perhaps it's time to stop pointing fingers at the opposite sex and start engaging in a little self-reflection, especially if you're re-living the same dysfunctional relationship over and over again.