For six long weeks you've wished and prayed for a sign or just a word from this guy. And on a sunny Sunday afternoon, your cell phone rings, and as you reach down to retrieve your cell from your designer bag, you see it. A text message from him that simply reads: "Hello." You sit there quietly, pondering what you should do.
It is easy not to notice when a relationship is fraying bit by bit. Our relationship seemed fine, and even better than fine. But spending those weekends together made us realize just how much we had missed each other. Our resurrection weekends kept the embers of our relationship burning. It was this yearly injection of passion that kept our love alive during those kid-centred years.
It's no secret that I love How I Met Your Mother -- in fact, rarely a day has gone by over the past nine years when I haven't quoted or referred to the show in conversation. There's just so much about life, love and friendship that HIMYM just gets. So, before we say goodbye, here are a few of my favourite lessons about life and love from Ted, Robin, Lily, Marshall, Barney and the gang.
Three months ago I quit my PhD to become a stripper. Of course, I was afraid of what people would think, but my old life wasn't working for me, and so I decided to change it. I'm not taking my clothes off, but this stripping of mine makes me feel free and, yes, naked and vulnerable, too. Layer by layer, I'm stripping away thoughts and beliefs that were toxic.
You've just woken up from a deep sleep and then remember that you've been romping all night with the Sandman who may also happen to be your Ex. That's when the WTF moment kicks in. Sex dreams happen to everyone. Sometimes they are as pleasurable as riding white horses in the meadow with George Clooney or getting naughty with Mila Kunis' legs wrapped around your waist.
Being a good partner sometimes means renegotiating communication strategies so that the question "What's wrong?" isn't perpetually sloughed off. It sometimes means breathing through a bad few months and saying, "I accept this, I can do this, I don't have to fight it," even as you keep fighting for the relationship itself.
Over the past decade or so, I've found there are a few common pitfalls that women who want to get married inadvertently fall into, and which decrease their chances of getting married while they're still young enough to walk down the aisle without stopping for breath. One of these pitfalls is living together before marriage.
Fourteen months. Fourteen months is the time I have in my head for how long I would try to save my marriage if things started to go south (hopefully it will never come to that). But once we limp past the one year mark, I think I would rationally assess whether something has shifted so irrevocably in our relationship that it was time to take it off life support.
We put our team therapy approach into action -- three of us working with one client at the same time. Over time we've come to understand why men seem to prefer this team approach to therapy. Not only can we help navigate rough emotional terrain, and get to the root cause, but we can help translate and teach them the emotional language of their spouse.
You need to see that your partner has suffered too, not from your anger, but from the weight of his or her own actions. If you believe your partner deeply regrets his actions, knows he was wrong, and even feels he violated his own personal standards, you will feel more trusting and open to forgiveness.