In my experience as a psychologist working with couples, unless a relationship has truly run its course, most people who cheat end up regretting their choice and hurting more people than they could ever anticipate. Wouldn't it be helpful to conduct a simple self-assessment to gauge the strength of your connection?
Of all the stresses we experience in life, a breakup is one of the worst. It shakes the foundation of your life at its core and shatters the world that you once knew, wreaking havoc on your mental and physical health. There's a reason they call it heartache! As painful as a breakup is, it can also be a time for learning and growth, opening up a new world of possibilities ... even new love.
Even if you've been chatting on various dating apps such as Tinder or Zoosk, meeting an actual human being in the flesh is completely different than online banter. The skills that make us good at online communication don't translate into the real world, and "relationships" online can have very little to do with real-life connections.
One time I heard that menopause is the last chance a woman has to straighten out whatever isn't right in her life. It's her last time of insight into the reality that "all is not well in the kingdom." I wonder, dear PMS, if you aren't a microcosm of that concept. My anger may actually be an insight into truth.
Life can be beautiful, but occasionally it can also kick us in the teeth. We can experience loss, disappointment, adversity. Eventually, everyone has to face their fair share of pain. What makes the difference between someone who barely survives these challenges in life, and someone who meets these challenges head-on and thrives?
From my earliest moments as a new mother, I'd longed for my daughter to experience the same enjoyment from reading and falling into a good book that I'd felt in my youth. I pictured us walking in tandem in our mutual appreciation for stories, unpacking plots and characters for each other as we bonded in conversation.
The truth is that if you're a people-pleaser, you've been using the people in your life to compensate for something that's been missing within you; you've been focused on getting others to meet a need, rather than on creating real connections. This might explain why you're not as happy as you could be, today.
Our children need to develop and equip their own tool box -- we cannot do it for them. This is not our job, nor should we be trying to make our children's happiness and success our goals. This generation of parents is much too eager to do their children's work for them, and therein lies the problem.
Some people are really, really nice. They're almost never angry but most always pleasant and agreeable, no matter what's going on around them. We all know at least one person like this. Maybe, you're one of them? Maybe you're someone who tries really hard to make others happy; someone who is careful not to do or say anything that might upset anyone; someone who avoids confrontation at all costs. If this sounds like you, then you're probably a People-Pleaser, and there's a reason you ended up that way.
Before I got into sales, I had a certain pre-conceived notion of what a successful salesperson looked like -- a loud, extroverted (and often annoying ) individual who is very pushy and in a rush to get their clients to sign off on documents they don't fully understand. But times have definitely changed, especially when it comes to sales in the startup space. Funny enough, when I reflect on my experiences on the sales side, I've noticed a number of similarities with dating.