Tonight as I watched the poetry that is The Hundred-Foot Journey, a part of me broke open. As I explained to my aunt and my mom when we came home after the film - sharing such a beautiful story of acceptance of our magnificent Indian culture, in the setting of the often ethnocentrically perceived nation of France, is indicative of the hope and pockets of beauty embedded within profound change and transition.
Often spoken with absolute authority, "I disagree" places itself firmly in opposition to the other. It carves an opinion in granite, hinting that further discussion is irrelevant. In personal relationships, these two words can instantly zap the life out of open communication. The opposite of "I disagree" is exploratory dialogue. Open discussion may create more connection.
Have the talk before you hook-up (or once you've peed right after) and set the lay of land. You both know what this is. Games are meant to be played with rope and whipped cream, not with each other's emotions. If you're feeling compromised about a situation have the courtesy to put it out there and mutual respect to problem-solve together.
I stumbled upon a story about a husband who, apparently upset with the lack of sex in his marriage, made a spreadsheet that documented how often his wife had sex with him. I've had many clients over the years show me similar lists. Lists like this are made -- and shared on social media -- out of an emotional mixture of frustration, resentment, self- righteousness, a lack of self-restraint and a profound level of immaturity.
Sex is good. Good sex is great. And great sex... well that's the dream right? While I can't promise that the next guy you bring home will be a God in sack, I can all but guarantee that sweating it out at the gym will help turn up the heat in the bedroom. Now that's what I call an effective incentive!
I knew immediately what John was talking about. I am prone to self-absorption, lost in my own thoughts. I pretend to listen, but John is no fool -- it's obvious to him that the imaginary conversations inside my head are too often more important than the real conversations between us. No wonder he sometimes feels that he is not that important.
I consider myself pretty lucky to be able to say that my best friend is also my boyfriend. With all that said, it isn't always dinner by flowers and candlelight. In fact, it's more often than not a daily negotiation of the cleaning duties. So, in one week...I discovered the formula for the age old question of how to get any man to do the dishes.
Each child is different, gifted uniquely, and those moments of celebration, even if all you do is take them out for Dollar Menu sundaes, builds their confidence. Teaching them not to give up. And helps them to expect more of themselves. And in the end, they need to know that they are loved, accepted, and treasured, apart from their accomplishments. Simply because they are yours.
It sounds like I'm just moaning about petty things that drive me crazy, and yes, I know these issues might relate only to me. But if these, or issues like these, are the main points of contention in a relationship, then in the end, I think we're all going to be okay. But when in doubt, just remember, you do want to get some sleep tonight.
Research showed that couples who spent extra time together reported feeling more satisfied with both their sex lives and their relationship with their partner. The afterglow of post-sex affection proved to be long lasting for couples, with participants reporting higher levels of satisfaction with their sex lives and relationships in a follow-up survey conducted three months later.
I'm not saying that if you have similar taste in food, health and romance that your relationship is doomed. What I am saying however is that those similarities are not enough to hold your relationship together. Two dear friends of mine, John and Sandy, have been married for over 15 years. They couldn't be more opposite from one another.