I stumbled upon a story about a husband who, apparently upset with the lack of sex in his marriage, made a spreadsheet that documented how often his wife had sex with him. I've had many clients over the years show me similar lists. Lists like this are made -- and shared on social media -- out of an emotional mixture of frustration, resentment, self- righteousness, a lack of self-restraint and a profound level of immaturity.
Sex is good. Good sex is great. And great sex... well that's the dream right? While I can't promise that the next guy you bring home will be a God in sack, I can all but guarantee that sweating it out at the gym will help turn up the heat in the bedroom. Now that's what I call an effective incentive!
I knew immediately what John was talking about. I am prone to self-absorption, lost in my own thoughts. I pretend to listen, but John is no fool -- it's obvious to him that the imaginary conversations inside my head are too often more important than the real conversations between us. No wonder he sometimes feels that he is not that important.
I consider myself pretty lucky to be able to say that my best friend is also my boyfriend. With all that said, it isn't always dinner by flowers and candlelight. In fact, it's more often than not a daily negotiation of the cleaning duties. So, in one week...I discovered the formula for the age old question of how to get any man to do the dishes.
Each child is different, gifted uniquely, and those moments of celebration, even if all you do is take them out for Dollar Menu sundaes, builds their confidence. Teaching them not to give up. And helps them to expect more of themselves. And in the end, they need to know that they are loved, accepted, and treasured, apart from their accomplishments. Simply because they are yours.
It sounds like I'm just moaning about petty things that drive me crazy, and yes, I know these issues might relate only to me. But if these, or issues like these, are the main points of contention in a relationship, then in the end, I think we're all going to be okay. But when in doubt, just remember, you do want to get some sleep tonight.
Research showed that couples who spent extra time together reported feeling more satisfied with both their sex lives and their relationship with their partner. The afterglow of post-sex affection proved to be long lasting for couples, with participants reporting higher levels of satisfaction with their sex lives and relationships in a follow-up survey conducted three months later.
I'm not saying that if you have similar taste in food, health and romance that your relationship is doomed. What I am saying however is that those similarities are not enough to hold your relationship together. Two dear friends of mine, John and Sandy, have been married for over 15 years. They couldn't be more opposite from one another.
For six long weeks you've wished and prayed for a sign or just a word from this guy. And on a sunny Sunday afternoon, your cell phone rings, and as you reach down to retrieve your cell from your designer bag, you see it. A text message from him that simply reads: "Hello." You sit there quietly, pondering what you should do.
It is easy not to notice when a relationship is fraying bit by bit. Our relationship seemed fine, and even better than fine. But spending those weekends together made us realize just how much we had missed each other. Our resurrection weekends kept the embers of our relationship burning. It was this yearly injection of passion that kept our love alive during those kid-centred years.
I sat in a therapist's office two weeks ago. "I think I'm having a nervous breakdown," I told her. Summer ended. My relationship fell apart. Then, it just disappeared. Then, I wondered if I'd made it all up. I felt like my friends didn't like me anymore. There's been a lot said about the quarter-life crisis. Is that why a lot of my friends and I needed help?
By withholding the truth about her affair from her husband, Tabitha holds all the cards when it comes to their marriage. She is able to preserve what matters most to her-her family life, financial security and the love of her husband-but on her own terms. Her husband is continuing to commit to the relationship under false pretences.
Since I moved into my new high-rise building, I have made a lot of nice, friendly straight male friends. This is a new experience for me, as for many years I largely surrounded myself with gay men. Not that I am complaining, of course, but I am so amazed with how open minded and non-judgmental many straight men have become, in terms of having gay friends to hang out and chill with.
It's no secret that I love How I Met Your Mother -- in fact, rarely a day has gone by over the past nine years when I haven't quoted or referred to the show in conversation. There's just so much about life, love and friendship that HIMYM just gets. So, before we say goodbye, here are a few of my favourite lessons about life and love from Ted, Robin, Lily, Marshall, Barney and the gang.
For me, as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse in which the perpetrators were male, the issue is further complicated. I've struggled with revealing my thoughts and emotions to other men, and when I do, it's generally camouflaged by using jokes. Women typically build relationships based on social connectivity while men build them based on shared activity or goal orientation.