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Why I Would Make A Great Senator

Dear Independent Advisory Board for Senate Appointments: I hear that you're looking for a few good men (and women, too, of course) to quickly fill five Senate seats from the provinces with the most vacancies, namely Manitoba, Ontario and Quebec. Luckily for you folks, I'm available right now.
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Men, Have You Been Plaid-Shamed?

I was standing in line at my local McDonald's when the person behind me asked, "Is that a plaid shirt you're wearing?" I was flustered, my face turned a crimson red and I quickly exited the restaurant. It was only when I sat down inside my car in the parking lot that I realized what had happened: I'd been plaid-shamed.