Almost three years ago, I decided to live out a teenage nightmare and I signed up for braces to correct my raging overbite. I've described my experience of having braces as grown up lady as well as the surprise jaw surgeries and gum grafting that came with it. Let me tell you, those operations pale in comparison to the daily drama of living with braces for three years.
I had tried yoga, Buddhism, Kabbalah. But I had always fallen short, still searching, still not whole. Trying so many new things, while still having so much sex, but changing nothing in that arena except maybe the guy or the country, led me to reevaluate. Maybe tantra wasn't crazy. Maybe it was actually what had been missing...
Spike Jonze's new movie, Her, has generated some controversy and debate about a human falling in love with an operating system. As technology permeates our lives more and more, such an idea becomes less like science fiction and more like a possible evolutionary change. It incites the question: Is it evolution or ultimate extinction if we continue to give up on physical sex? We still seem to be passionately interested in sex. It is far too early to tell if this is simply a behavioural blip, or a portend of something major in our evolutionary development. Spike Jonze may well be viewed as less of a filmmaker and more of a visionary prophet by future historians.
Higher stress levels are linked to more disagreements with lovers, an erotic deterrent of the highest level. In fact, in order to engage with another person on any intimate level we need to perceive enough safety. This safety helps us feel sexual arousal and bonding with our partner due to the release of the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin.
More than once as a young person (and even in adulthood) I've encountered professionals who believe my sexual orientation is the cause of my depression. I've also encountered professionals old enough to be my grandparents who suggest my sexual orientation is a mental illness in itself. It is why I remain skeptical to this day of seeking treatment; especially with a professional I've never met before.
A longer lasting solution for pumping up your sexual 'oomph' comes from a different type of sexual variety. By changing the how instead of the who, we can open a world of sexual pleasure for a lifetime. By fighting against your body's natural habit of getting locked in to one method of pleasure, you can train yourself to enjoy a much wider variety of sensations and situations.
If my experiences have offended some of you, I'm sorry that you didn't like it, and I'm sorry that you don't understand. I'm sorry that when the next time a woman of colour speaks on a subject like this, you will do the same thing to her. I'm sorry that you won't give her experience any second thought. I'm sorry that you won't even consider delving deeper into history. I'm sorry for you.
Try hard never to envy your partner. Envy is sex poison. If you want good sex, learn to be a good companion. A good companion listens. Sex is always changing for any given individual and every couple, and so communication should never end. The good news is the potential to reawaken desire never dies.
What is an ecosexual, you might ask? It's about looking at the Earth not as 'mother', but as 'lover' -- calling to reduce our carbon footprints and revolutionize how we each truly impact our environment. What's a better trend than being eco-friendly and increasing your pleasure capacity at the same time?!
Everyone wants better sex, but many of us have the wrong idea about how to make it happen. A happy, fulfilling sex life is available to everyone. If we simply pay attention, we'll discover the sexual satisfaction that we've never previously experienced. Here are the seven secrets to achieving a spectacular sex life.
As a couples mediator, I can state with certainty that marriage problems often show up in the bedroom first. For that reason, it's important for a woman to stay sexual. Women often complain that they "don't feel sexy" any more. Weight gain, normal aging and other body changes. If this sounds like you, here are eight steps to go from feeling like a fat cat to purring like a sex kitten.
A few weeks ago, my newsfeed was filled with stories from this year's Sundance Film Festival: "Record Number of Female Directors!" However, what little information I could find about the films centering around women with sexual storylines led to utter disappointment -- did they all just happen to be really dark, or is the female perspective on sex an utter failure?
There's myriad ideologies that stop women from having a healthy relationship with their privates including: negative socialization, lack of education and exposure when young, stigma when admitting they masturbate, and the list goes on and on. Bottom line: until the average gal can have a positive relationship with her vulva, enjoying sex to the maximum will probably be out of her grasp.
Using women's bodies to sell alcohol is probably the thing I hate most about the broader beer culture in the western world. Possibly it's because I have a daughter now, and I'm thinking about my actions as a man, particularly relating to how they relate to girls and young women who are growing up in a messed up world.
Because today is National Coming Out Day, I was reminded of my own journey. Almost two decades ago, I came out of that supposed "closet" publicly and purposefully for when I finally figured out I was gay, I wanted to shout it to the world. I eventually found the label "gay" something to be proud of. The gay label is just one small part of the big picture. But take it away and I wouldn't be me.