With every new life experience the gap between us continues to fade... Even though the distance separates us physically, our bond is stronger than ever. I treasure our long chats about everything and nothing at all. I treasure the time we do have together. Each moment is a gift. But, most of all, I treasure you. My big sis. You are my constant, my rock, my sounding board, my very best friend.
Siblings can be our best friends or our worst enemies. I've heard of one sibling giving up a kidney for another; being a surrogate for another one's pregnancy, or giving another sibling the down-payment for a house. So what makes one sibling loving and the other hurtful? Mostly, it comes down to what happened during childhood.
No part of me regrets the decision I made to be an egg donor but I regret how I went about it and the contract I locked myself into. I regret not requesting an open donation. I did not understand the gravity of my decisions. I believed I was mature and now I look back and feel like I was just a kid. That psychological screening, many years ago, had "screened" a version of myself I could no longer relate to. I had no way of knowing that egg donation would impact my life the way it did.
My children, like many lucky kids, have an amazing auntie. She's the kind of aunt who comes along on road trips, takes my kids for the weekend, buys thoughtful gifts, and organizes living-room dance parties whenever she's over. My children love their Auntie Katy, and my husband (her brother) and I need her.
Baby number two is on the way! You and your partner are probably excited, but your first child may be not quite so sure. How you help them get ready for the arrival of a sibling will depend on their age, of course, but here are some general "dos and don'ts" to ease them into the role of big brother or big sister.
For those of you who know me personally, you'll know that I'm in a pretty serious relationship with Detroit. Detroit needs to make a call for actors, writers, artists, comedians, photographers, to work on a sense of community through laughter, joy and creative expression! It's not a solution but it certainly wouldn't hurt. Detroit needs a younger sibling to make sure that they don't get swallowed up in their own sadness.
You do not always get along. Sam told me approximately 44 times this morning that P.J. popped her green balloon. P.J. sometimes resorts to creating Mega-bloks jail cells to contain Sam. Alex pulls Sam's hair. Sam pulls back. But you get more pure joy from each other than you get from water balloons, McDonald's fries and the iPad combined. Which is saying a lot.
My daughter keeps asking for a little sister. At first it was cute...then it started to evolve into a daily request, which became harder and harder to address. I can relate. I also wanted a sister growing up. But now, I can't deny the fact that after 4.5 years postpartum, I finally feeling like I have my body "back." I am quite certain that I don't want to go down the pregnancy path again.
We had always imagined a family with two children... until the baby blues hit. And then postpartum. I'm sad my daughter won't have a sibling, but when it comes to having a second child, we've decided to let that ship sail. I know my capabilities, and I would rather be a great mom to Maddie than a stressed-out and exhausted mom to two.