The story of Rehtaeh Parsons, a 17-year-old from Nova Scotia who hanged herself on April 4, a year and a half after being raped, is disturbingly familiar. And there were bystanders, plenty of bystanders, who had any number of opportunities to step in and do something, but none of them did. And, in many ways, you are one of these bystanders, too. I am, too. We all are.

The real horror of Amiel's column is not that she wrote it, or even that it was published in a mainstream magazine. It's that she is merely putting to paper what is thought by so many. There are people who believe that intoxication, even unconsciousness, means yes.

You need to stop using the "wives, sisters, daughters" argument when you are talking to people defending the Steubenville rapists. Or any rapists. Or anyone who commits any kind of crime, violent or otherwise, against a woman. In case you're unfamiliar with this line of rhetoric, it's the one that goes like this: You should stop defending the rapists and start caring about the victim. Imagine if she was your sister, or your daughter, or your wife. What you are actually doing is perpetuating rape culture by advancing the idea that a woman is only valuable in so much as she is loved or valued by a man.