Tim Sandlin

Watching Shane (and 99 Other Ways to Beat the Blues)

Tim Sandlin | Posted 04.12.2014 | Canada Living
Tim Sandlin

After a few days of sitting there like an African violet in need of sunlight, I get up and fix a pot of Kenya AA coffee. Then I pop Shane into the DVD player. It's a scientific fact that a person cannot remain in the dumps throughout a full viewing of Shane.

Suicide and Reviews: Part II

Tim Sandlin | Posted 04.02.2014 | Canada
Tim Sandlin

Jim Harrison has a list of writers who committed suicide within a month of finishing a novel. Last I heard, he had 35 names. It goes along with the postpartum metaphor. You've been holding the universe and your body together by sheer will for so long, that when you allow yourself to let go, you tend to let go of everything at once and the results can be messy.

Chicken Soup for the Arrogant Soul

Tim Sandlin | Posted 02.08.2014 | Canada Living
Tim Sandlin

If you go on a book tour, I would advise against behaving like a jerk. The media escorts gossip. With a minimum of prodding, they dish the dirt. Jeffrey Archer is a legend for his bad behaviour. Next most arrogant, rude and demanding are the editors from the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. Think about that.

Truth, Lies and Styrofoam

Tim Sandlin | Posted 02.01.2014 | Canada
Tim Sandlin

Fiction writers write a series of lies that add up to Truth. Capital T. Nonfiction writers write a series of facts that add up to a point of view, if you are kind, and a lie, if you are tacky. I write novels, which means my lies are Truth. Bill O'Reilly's lies are lies. Your sanity depends on your ability to tell the difference.

Angels and Colons

Tim Sandlin | Posted 01.24.2014 | Canada
Tim Sandlin

I know you are all on virtual tenterhooks about the state of my colon, so here is the report: As I was lying on the skinny hospital bed on wheels, slowly rising out of the anesthesia, the curtain parted and in floated the angel of the Lord. The angel saith (in a New Orleans accent): "Your doctor messed up. He ripped you a new anal cavity."

Lessons Learned From Brad Pitt's Fan Mail

Tim Sandlin | Posted 01.23.2014 | Canada Living
Tim Sandlin

If I'd known where Brad Pitt lived I could have boxed up his mail and taken it to him. It would have made a nice icebreaker with Jennifer Aniston. (This was ten years ago.) But I didn't know and I didn't think they wanted the mail anyway, so I did what any other normal American would have done with a pile of unsolicited mail addressed to Brad Pitt -- I opened it.

Spare any Change for a Double Ristretto Macchiato?

Tim Sandlin | Posted 01.23.2014 | Canada
Tim Sandlin

For much of my youth, I lived outdoors. I figured that's the price you pay for chasing your own dream instead of someone else's. Lord knows, I'd rather write than pee indoors. Nowadays, it's called being homeless but back then it was living outside and was a perfectly respectable way to make time for doing what you loved to do.

Why I Left Hollywood (Part 1)

Tim Sandlin | Posted 01.23.2014 | Canada
Tim Sandlin

I wrote five novels about my problems and then I ran out of problems. I have always thought a novelist with nothing to say should shut up, so I did, waiting patiently for new problems to appear. In the meantime, I wrote screenplays because you don't have to have anything to say to write a movie. You just have to be able to give good meeting.

One Cowboy's Self-Evident Truths

Tim Sandlin | Posted 12.07.2013 | Canada
Tim Sandlin

These self-evident truths were written by Rowdy Talbot, who was the narrator of a book I wrote called Rowdy in Paris. The book is about a cowboy -- Rowdy -- who goes to Paris to retrieve his stolen belt buckle and ends up making France safe for Starbucks.

Why I Write Books

Tim Sandlin | Posted 11.26.2013 | Canada Living
Tim Sandlin

There are four things I keep nearby at all times, generally in my pocket. 1) A photo of my now six-year-old daughter taken when she was one and in a Chinese orphanage. 2) My Food Stamp card from 1973. 3) A card Julie Sheppard from Wichita, Kansas, gave me after a reading. And 4) this letter.

After 35 Years and 135 Rejections, My Novel's a Movie at TIFF

Tim Sandlin | Posted 11.10.2013 | Canada
Tim Sandlin

2013-08-12-blog_spotlight_on_tiff_v01.jpg My novel Sex and Sunsets was optioned as a movie. The option ran out, and it was optioned again, and again. Option cheques arrived for 25 years. I gave up on it being made....