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Instead of getting what they want, the overly nice person will be used, abused and belittled. It's very confusing to them. Often, they think that what's called for is to be more pleasing. Of course, this only increases the persecution they're experiencing.
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Many of us are convinced that being "nice" is the way to win a friend or a partner and keep them; that if we please this person and give them what they need, they'll love us and stay with us, forever. Well, it doesn't really work that way. When we're "nice," the other person can't know who we really are.
I think it may be time for us Canadians to reconsider our investment in being so nice. We don't have to stop being kind, thoughtful, caring or polite, but we might want to try saying "No" on occasion. We might want to let go of our obsession with making everyone else happy at our own expense. If the fish is overcooked at the fancy restaurant we're eating at, we might actually consider sending it back. If we're put on hold for 20 minutes we might contemplate registering a protest. We might even imagine giving up our compulsion for saying "I'm sorry" at the least possible provocation.
Kindness emerges from someone who's confident, compassionate and comfortable with themselves. A kind person is loving and giving out of the goodness of their heart. At the root of extreme niceness, however, are feelings of inadequacy and the need to get approval and validation from others.